Contentment

Written Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Life has a way of teaching us many things if we but look. A high school chum, later on neighbor died yesterday. He was a tall, good looking young man in his youth. He grew up within walking distance of me, and from time to time he, myself and his little sister played together. Being all boy, of course he terrorized us, but all in all he was a good person.

After graduation he married a lady from below town, got a job with the telephone company, had children and appeared to be settled down into the all American life—until one evening he had a wreck in the telephone truck. During the ex-rays to determine any damages from the wreck they discovered a brain tumor. He was operated on and from then on he was never the same.

His wife divorced him, he had to go on disability and mentally he simply wasn’t what he used to be. He could care for himself, he lived alone, moving back to his home place below us. He attended church faithfully and for all intents and purposes he had a good life—given the condition he was in. As the years passed, he slowly declined in health and yesterday he was finally taken from this life of pain and disability and is now free.

Attending the wake tonight, I ran into a girl who was a grade ahead of me in school. She was one of the beautiful people; popular, active in sports, the life of the party. She married, had a child and life seemed good. A few years down the road her husband died. I had not actually heard anything about her since then.

As we talked the step sister to the deceased man walked up and Millie and she talked school. A remark was made by Millie about her child and public school, hubby mentioned having gone to Tylertown, while Millie and I went to Salem—the country school. The Step sister remarked that the sophisticated ones went to the private school. The she moved on and Millie and I resumed talking.

She mentioned her child had to be in Special Education. I asked if I could call her, because I have a granddaughter who will probably need Special Ed for some of her classes. She opened up more, shared a bit more about her daughter, and as she did, we shared a few tears together.

Too soon the visit was over and as I left my mind was tumbling with thoughts. Somewhere along the path of life, I came up with the belief that there were people who were better than me. I truly haven’t a clue as to why I came to believe this and I’ve given it much thought. Was it because of the attitudes of those who did have more material wise than I; was it their treatment of me?; was it the attitude/actions/words of my parents? Or was it what my parents did NOT say to me?

Regardless of where, how or why I came up with this belief, in part I still hold some remnants of that belief today. As a school kid, Millie was among the people who were better than me or so I thought.

As I rode home I pondered the conversations during my time at the funeral home. The step sister who made the sophistication remark as well as her step sister and family have all moved away and developed this pseudo-classy-proper manner of speech of ways of acting. Gone are the simple country ways they grew up with. Their clothes, their cars, their speech, their manners all told the story of having bettered themselves, of having become better than their roots.

Yet Millie stood there by me, wrinkles telling the story of the pain she’d suffered in life, tears in her eyes, hair as disarrayed as mine probably was sharing about her learning disabled daughter, her fight to keep her in public school and get her the help she needed, tending her horses and dogs….living the simple life—I felt a kinship to her, a closeness that I would never have believed possible given my impression of her during our school years.

I was reminded yet once again, just as alanon has taught me, just as I’ve learned through the many books I’ve read, just as the Bible teaches me----we are all created in the image of God, we are all unique, special individuals. Regardless of our position in life, if we are doing our best, we are good enough, we are where we ought to be. Each of us have a gift, a talent, a place, a job to do—from the smartest of us to the not so smart. The key is acceptance…..

Phillipians 4:11-- Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be CONTENT.

Buddy

Ahh, this looks like the place I could call home, he thought as he wandered into the yard of Robert and Judy’s home. Finding a nice comfy spot beneath the sycamore tree he lay down and rested, weary from his long journey.

He awoke the next morning when the sound of Robert’s footsteps startled him from the dream he was having—a dream of love, food a plenty and safety. Yet, unfamiliar with the man who approached him, he jumped up and ran some distance away. He wasn’t taking any chances that this man would run him off like so many others had done.

Yet there was something about this place, this man that tugged at the heartstrings of Buddy—a small dog of unidentified background. So he hung around, slowly making friends with the man and his wife. Soon he was comfy enough to enter the home and within the walls of the brick abode he found a warm lap to nap in, soft couch to rest upon and kindness even when he gathered up Robert’s shoes and lovingly deposited them on the huge bed his new master occupied at night.

Before long he was an integral part of the family, introduced to visiting family and friends, tended by the neighbor when Robert and Judy had to leave and happy as any dog could be in the safe haven he now called home.

But one weekend his new owners invited him to go away with them. Wow, what a treat. He would get to ride in the big, long shiny house they pulled from the shed from time to time and drove away in, returning a few days later. So with much excitement he jumped inside the big, little house on wheels and prepared for his new adventure by checking the whole place out from one end to the other.

On one of his investigative trips he was coming down the steps from the bed/bath area into the living/kitchen area when Robert rounded a curve a bit too fast. Buddy lost his footing and slid on his belly all the way across the floor up to where the two big seats were sitting right near the huge front window. Everyone laughed but Buddy. He didn’t find amusing at all. After all it rather burned his belly and ruffled his pride. Embarrassment caused him to find a spot out of the way and hide his face for a while.

But soon they arrived at their destination. Yes! He thought, finally. I was about to pop. Out the door he scurried and hiking his leg he did what dogs do, first on this tree, then that tree, oh yeah, and that one too. Who would have thought that one little dog could hold so much water.

Wow, Buddy thought as he looked around, checking out the new digs. Lots of open spaces, Plenty of trees to hike on……but what were those little furry things? He cocked his head and he surveyed the cats and they stared right back at him. Hmmm, Buddy thought. They aren’t like me, I might best leave them alone. Turning his attention away he set about learning his way around.

By late evening he was feeling almost at home here. He was feeling comfortable enough to approach one of the cats to check her out. Sniff, sniff…..but it doesn’t smell right as he stuck his nose a bit too close. Splat, the cat reached out and swiped Buddy across the nose, hissing with all hair standing on end as she did so. Buddy yelped as only a frightened dog can do and ran for his master. Hmmm, he thought, I’m bigger but darn if that didn’t hurt. I think I’ll sit here in Robert’s lap and leave those things alone.

Friday morning dawned and Buddy had forgotten all about the incident with the cat the evening before. He spotted one and hunkering down he began to bark at the 3 or 4 cats who were cruising around beside the shed, having followed the girls down from their house. A couple of the cats looked his way with disdain, then went on about their business. Ruff, ruff…..Buddy barked again, bounding toward them expecting them to turn and run. The yellow tabby looked his way as if to say, “You barking at me?” Then Buddy made the fatal error of rushing the cats…..they all bowed up, tails in the air, ears pointed, hissing and preparing to scratch. That’s all it took to send Buddy yelping back toward the patio and the safety of Robert’s lap.

The rest of his visit was much more pleasant. He decided that apart from being anti-social, he simply didn’t have the time to fool with them; he’d rather play with the girls, and get his picture taken at which he had to come see each one as soon as it was snapped.

I liked Buddy and hope he comes back to visit.

update on poinsettias

We ended up selling 28 poinsettias to the church with a possible 2-4 more forthcoming. We would have only sold 20 had the church bought them outright. It just dawned on me that Helen wanted 20, so she and other woman bought 16 asssuming that I would only sell 4 to make the 20 she wanted.

I carried 20 to church this morning and 8 yesterday evening. This morning I tucked about 8 of the ones I brought alternately between the 12 she had in front of the communion table on the floor. They looked nice, but she came behind and removed them. I was starting out to get some more and she walked in and spoke. I spoke back, as I walked away she could see what I did and said--well I..........but I kept walking and she hushed.When I came back in she had moved mine and placed them on the bannister down each side of the choir loft area. O well.

I talked with one of the other deacons this morning and told him that I would like a meeting with Helen, the other lady on the flower committee and at least some of the deacons, IF they thought it would be worth the effort. Right now I think I just want the opportunity to quietly speak my truth to her so that she knows treating me this way is unacceptable to me. Knowing her like I do, I won't do it without witnesses. We'll see on that but I think the thank you will be a great thing to do.

Also, this morning a friend of mine, the one who's husband left and is living in a shed called and wanted to know what time church started. She came in support of me. She had come by yesterday evening when I was so bummed out and it bothered her that I was so affected---usually I'm uplifting her. She's a real friend and I'm glad to have her in my life.

A church friend wrote this to me today concerning those who called and ordered poinsettias:

Know without being told that Helen has been told and will be told again and again so you don't have to worry about saying a think to her. Honey, the army that volunteered yesterday is strong! Nobody was drafted, they all volunteered. I have rarely seen so many people at our church so mad about one thing that has happened. Helen did more harm to herself than anybody else could ever do. Lyndora and Jerry both couldn't believe that she did that. I couldn't believe that she did that. If Michael had not been with me yesterday I guess I probably would have thrown a fit so thank God he was with me. This is funny - he told Pappy last night that the ugliest thing I said to Hilton was that was a very unChristian thing to do. I think James thought that I acted ugly but I didn't. I didn't say anything I said to him in an ugly way. It was WHAT I said and not HOW I said it. We are going to have a WONDERFUL Christmas dinner today and the sanctuary will be beautiful thanks to you and Terry.
I intend to thank the church publically with these words:

I would like to thank everyone who has supported Terry and I during these times of economical uncertainty. Our heartfelt gratitude goes out to those who put aside politics, competition, rivalry and personal gain and followed the example of Christ who considered the welfare of every member of His flock. By your decision to support one of your own you shunned selfishness and avoided choices that would give personal gain yet hurt others in the process.
It is these choices that add to the love we have for you and affirm in our hearts that we are indeed a church family. Our hearts are truly warmed by your support and we are truly blessed.

Sat. Dec. 5, 2009

What a fall. First we lost over half our pansies, snaps and ornamental cabbage and kale. Next, we had two churchs that usually buy poinsettias have different women on the committee for that, so they aren’t buying from us.

Last and definitely not least, our own church has a woman in it who will stab you in the back hard and fast. 2 weeks ago she asked me about the price of poinsettias and said they would want probably 20. Last Sunday she announced that she and one of the members on the flower committee, the same committee I am on, had decided to let each person that wanted a poinsettia buy their own. They could buy them at our place and named the price I gave her, 7.50, for plant, speed cover and tax. No, I was not consulted regarding this new decision.

Today, I find that she has gone to a nursery in the next county, a friend of mine, a nursery that buys from us wholesale and bought 16 poinsettias and placed them in the church. When her husband was asked he said they bought them from Speights because the Speights bought gas from him. He is a gas delivery man for the same gas company I buy my gas from—he just isn’t my driver and won’t ever be my driver.

Some of the other people who don’t agree with this one lady, had called to order their poinsettia, so Terry and I take them over to the church this evening. Because this lady was so back stabbing in what she did, she not only hurt us, embarrassed us, but also made the whole church look tacky because the reds of the poinsettias are different and the color of the speed cover is a different green. She had hers all tucked inside some garland around the table in front of the pulpit, there was no where left to place the ones ordered from me except on the railing going upon the rostum.

I simply can’t understand how people can sleep at night knowing that have hurt church members like that, knowing they have not supported church members. She is the very one who announced that poinsettias could be bought from me, then goes elsewhere to buy hers and some for another lady.

I am just thoroughly disgusted, hurt, angry, embarrassed and sad

glasses and phones

My glasses will be in Monday, if nothing happens. I can hardly wait. My old ones had crackled. The eye doc said he thought it was the protective coating they put on them. I have two other pairs, both supposedly made just for sitting at the computer. He checked both pairs and the newest pair I have he said he had no clue what they were made for, but it wasn't a computer. He asked how my old computer glasses worked and I said fine. So I'm staying with them. They are made with the normal viewing not quite as strong as my normal bifocal part and then they have a bifocal part for if I need to read something I'm typing from. I wear glasses for out there vision--I can never remember if that is far or near sighted, and then of course bifocals.

The reason they couldn't make my glasses today is because the frames are smaller than any I've ever had and she needed to order a wider lens to be sure I would have plenty of viewing and reading area. I told the lady who helped with the frames that the eye place in hattiesburg always said I couldn't have smaller frames because of needing bifocals. She said that was stupid, they just didn't want to order the wider lens. I really hope they look good on me since I really couldn't see a darn thing. I just put my trust in the lady helping because she said it was her job to help find a pair that looked good on me and my face was too small for a large glass.

I had planned to eat lunch with Stacie, but just as I got into Walmart to pick up eye salve for dry eyes, Terry called and Sharon was here waiting on me. Then while I was in ATT he called again and said Jennifer was here. So I hurried up after leaving ATT, took Stacie's phone to her, picked up hamburgers and came home. Finally around 3 my eyes began to clear up, but I was miserable until then. I couldn't see anything up close. Dr. Sanders says I have some cataracts showing up but they aren't bad yet and until they start to give me problems, we'll just watch them. Otherwise, my eyes are good.

Sharon had finally got her land line phone turned on last week and had dial up internet, slow but she could at least get on the web and play on Facebook. They turned it off Monday and told her it was because the engineer hadn't signed off on it. She wanted me to call them to see if I could get it on before the 12th of the month, which is when they said it would be on. So I called and they said it would be on by midnight tonight. She wondered why I could call and get told that and they told her it would be the 12th. I didn't know the answer.

Jennifer just was up for a visit. She has back surgery the 19th of this month and was getting away before being laid up from that.

Yesterday, mine and Stacie's cell phones went crazy, sending the same message to each other over and over. I learned at church that my friends' phone, her daughter's and husband's was doing the same thing. I learned that one of the sponsor's phone was doing it too.
Stacie went to the store and they reset the network. I called from home and they did the same thing, saying if that didn't fix it then we needed a new simm card. I went by the store today with both phones, but the lady there said it was in their network, there was a ticket on it and it was being fixed, and we didn't need a simm card. Mine continued to replicate a message until finally I turned it off last night. This morning it acted normal until a friend replied to a text I sent and I've gotten that reply about 75 times. I called ATT again and was told that there was no ticket for ATT's network and replacing the simm card was the next step in troubleshooting. She said it was my account to give me two new simm cards and not to charge the normal 50.00 for them. I was told that if the customer rep gave me any slack to have her call the main office.

Later this evening, after I took my simm card and blew the dust off, if there was any on it, blew out the little slot it goes into, it finally started acting normal.

And that's my day. Not quite productive, but busy.

busy days

We took Sharon out to eat last night and Brenda came down and went with us. There was a couple at the table next to us and the lady asked Terry if he were Kenny Rogers son. When Terry said no, she said, any kin at all? He laughed and said no. Then she asked if he sang or played any instrument, and of course he said no. She said she was hoping she had met someone famous and could take back an autograph.

I piped up and said, but our daughter married Roy Rogers the first time around. She laughed and said, for real. I said yep and if she were here, she could autograph your napkin and the folks back home would never know the difference. I asked where she was from and she came from Savannah, Georgia. She and her husband were really nice and we enjoyed talking with them.

Then today, we had the ballgames. I went up to the concession stand, which some group from Dexter handles when we play down there, to order me a burger for lunch. Just as I walked up the young girl stuck her head up to the window and started yelling really loud for the team. She finally shut up long enough to take a deep breath and without even asking me if she could help me, she started again...she yelled so loud I put my finger in my ear. Finally she shut up and I said, "I'd like to place an order if you're through screaming." She says, "you have to tell me you want to order something" I said, "Well if you hadn't been screaming so loud it hurt my ears, I could have told you I wanted to order. Besides, it's your place to ask if you can help me." She said, "I didn't know why you were standing there." I replied, "That's why you're supposed to ask if you can help the customer. So then she pops off, well, what do you want. I told her to never mind. I'd go hungry before I placed an order with her.

I went around to the back where Randy Sumrall was cooking the burgers and found out who was in charge of the stand. It's the principal of Dexter. I went back to the concession stand and got the name of the rude girl and I am going to call and report her Monday.

Then I get home and a friend from al-anon had called. We're both in a group which consists of 4 other women who have children who drink or use drugs. We're a small group, and we talk alanon and other stuff. One lady is from Alabama, she's a retired college professor, one is from Utah, she works at a college but not as a professor, another is from Ohio and she's a retired nurse and then there is Ann from Fla; also a retired nurse.

All the other 4 are left wing democrats, my alanon friend is Republican and Christian, the other 4 ladies are not 'saved Christians either. We've all enjoyed getting to know each other and even though we don't agree on everything things have gone on pretty good until the election. Then Ann, the Fla. lady, who is really passionate about politics began to make remarks such as......anyone who votes Republican has to be stupid; anyone who watchs Fox News has to be stupid or ignorant, I'm finding that all Republicans tend to be under educated, etc, etc.

Jan, my alanon friend has been very hurt by these remarks, as I have, even though I'm not totally Republican nor totally Democrat simply because I don't know enough to say which I am...Terry says I'm democrat and I say what difference does it make, I don't argue politics......anyway, the fact that Ann knew my friend was Republican and would still make these remarks upset me because she hurt my friend's feelings and I also felt attacked because I wasn't liberal in my political views so I felt that she was attacking me too.

Well, Jan had confronted Ann and Ann came back and said she didn't insult Jan and couldn't understand why she was upset. Pam, the retired professor, stated that she understood where Jan was coming from, confronted Ann with some really good questions which Ann couldn't answer honestly and then they ask me my thoughts because I've been in alanon the longest, they say, when in truth, Jan has gone longer than me.

On a lighter note, we built a fire and sat down on the ground around it, roasted weiners and marshmallows, talked and the girls had a ball. Ana even said she liked doing that much better than trick or treating, which was good. I'm full as a tick, and tired. NOw I need to go add my two cents for what it's worth to the problem in the group. Then I think I'll head to bed.

right or wrong

Each year, Ana goes to Cheyenne's for her birthday party. It is this weekend. Beginning the first of Sept, it is all Ana talks about, to me and to her mom. Usually she goes on Friday nite and spends the nite to be there for the party, because Cheyenne lives on 583, up close to Brister's store, or whatever it's called now.

This morning Stacie came in a huff. On her weekly homework/classroom grades, she had a low math grade. I had signed the paper already and really didn't think twice about the grade. We all have bad days. Why she showed it to her mom I don't know, but she did and when Stacie asked her about the grade, she said because I was busy with Shandi and then we had to go to church, she didn't finish it.

Ana tends to see her world as black and white. Mama always pays more attention to Shandi, I always help Shandi more than I do her. Mama is nicer to Shandi than to Ana because mama sees herself in Ana and doesn't like what she sees. I do spend more homework time with Shandi because she needs it more. However, I go back and forth between the dining table and the living room helping both of them. Shan is at the table, Ana in the living room with the music on---I get to a point where I write down the answers Shan gives me so she can copy them since her spelling is bad, then I run to the living room and help Ana or check on her. Wednesday evenings, I'm also cooking whatever I'm taking to church.

So, mama says Ana is grounded not for the grade, but for not asking for help. She can't go to Cheyene' party. I say that since this has been planned for ages, find something else. Mama does agree to let her attend the party but not overnight. Ok, we compromised. Mama goes on to rant and rave about this and that in that mean, hateful tone, Ana is crying and it's almost time to go to school. mama tells her if she could afford it she would send Ana to a school that would teach her good attitude. I said that kids learn what is done in front of them. mama says she's gotten better, in this same hateful tone of voice she's used all morning. Ana is visibly upset about that idea. I tell mama that Ana doesn't ask her for help because I've heard mama refuse, actually tell her that as smart as Ana is she isn't going ot help her. I tell mama that if I were a kid, i wouldn't ask her for help either.

The bus comes, Stacie starts crying and says--would you please not correct me in the front of the kids again. I thought we were all supposed to agree in front of kids. She is right. I was wrong---but sometimes I just have to stand up for the kids. Usually I keep my mouth shut.

I say--ok, I"ll just be your peon, take the kids to all their activities and appointments and help them with their homework, and keep my mouth shut about discipline.

She leaves.

I cry.

I know I was wrong to disagree with her punishement, but she goes overboard with it, even saying she wasn't punishing Ana for the grade but for not asking for help. She also does it so hateful, it upsets me, so I know how the kid feels.

Then Stacie texts and says: how about I just keep my mouth shut and let you discipline since you know better than I, and I'm not being sarcastic.

I replied back that I didn't always know or do better, I loved her and we'd talk tonight.

Our IEP Meeting

We had a good meeting at the school. the inclusion teacher is Pam McNeil, . She seems nice. We'll see. She will work with Shan in her classroom 2 days one week and 3 days another week, if I understood her correctly. She will be taking Shan into the resource room-a separate classroom- to finish tests she may not have completed, and working with her on problem areas. She won't have the full 15 spelling words, but only 8 and will take her spelling test in the resource room where Pam can pronounce the words out more clearly and slowly because Shan spells better that way.

Certain tests, where they can, she will take separate from the regular class because the test will be modified to fit her learning ability. Patricia Boyd, her teacher was really a big help, pointing out where Shandi does well and where she falters. She also stated that Shandi worked harder than any other child in her class. Like us, she was puzzled over the Math learning disability which qualified Shan for Services, since Shan does reasonably well in math; still the discrepancy between the mean average and her score in reading and English, wasn't the full 23 points to qualify her. However, Julie, the Case Manager said Shan may have scored 21 or close to the 23 point discrepancy, but regardless, she functions at mid first grade level and that means she will receive help in all topics--math, English, Reading, Spelling.


The goals are to bring her up to 3rd grade level by years end; with modification for her learning ability. She will be kept in the regular classroom except for specific times when tests are being given or she has fallen behind the normal class work. Her regular teacher works with her already, using help aids where she is struggling. I really like Patricia and feel she is going to be wonderful for Shandi this year.


They will monitor her progress on a 9 week basis and if she's not progressing, then we'll change what is being done. If she falls too far behind, she'll qualify for a summer program. This will be checked out about mid-year. I'm promised regular notes concerning her progress, her problems and even help aids sent home for me to utilize here with her doing homework. I asked for that last one--either send me some copies home or point me to the web address where I might find it.


All in all, I feel very good about Shandi now. I feel that we have the ball rolling in the right direction. My job now is to start digging around for added aids to help her at home, keeping track of what's going on at school and making sure she is actually getting the help promised in the IEP. The one problem I see is that the inclusion teacher serves several classes and scheduling her assistance may be a problem if all classes she serves has, say reading at the same time each morning. Maybe all teachers involved should meet and work up a better schedule?

A shandi story

Last night it was thundering and lightening so getting on the computer was out of the question. As Brenda and I sat around visiting, Shandi joined up. We were sitting out front enjoying the cool night air following the first round of rain, when the wind blew strong enough to cause rain droplets to fall from the trees across the road. It was a dark night, so the sound was all one had to go on. Shandi jumped and looking across toward the trees that border the road, she says, “I don’t like that sound. It scares me. I always think it’s a big monster out in the woods and it’s coming to eat me up.”
I explained to her the real source of the noise, but she wasn’t truly listening, as she immediately launched into a tale of a movie she had watched. From her descriptions the movie was Sleep Hollow, and complete with physical animation, she told us all about the movie. There was the evil man with the hood, the girl who always did something strange—that point I missed totally, and the man who walked around never looking where he was going because he was always reading a book.
She tells her story in high animation, with facial expressions to match the scene; the physical motions to describe the actions and lots of descriptive phrases. She’s really a trip to watch and listen to, but you have to listen closely because she talks a mile a minute when she’s into telling a story.
Then she proceeded to tell us that there really were evil spirits and good spirits. “Don’t you believe that, momo?” she asked me. “Don’t you believe the evil spirits want to hurt you and the good spirits protect you? I do. You know my uncle Bobby, the one that died, (speaking of Brenda’s husband) he’s my good spirit. He is always with me and he keeps me safe. He even comes in the form of animals, momo.”
So we discussed that possibility for a while until she began to talk about a time when it rained so much that the football field at school was flooded. She told about her and a friend trying to figure out where that water was going. Why it was covering the football field, so much that the football players had to take off at least 3 days from playing football, as she described it. I suggested that the rain water soaked into the ground and what didn’t soak in or run off, evaporated. “No way” Shandi says emphatically. “Me and my friend searched until we found where that water was going. You know those ditches way over by the trees—referring to a small creek that runs on one 2 sides of the field—why that water just run off into those ditches and disampeared.”
From that story she really got deep, when she remembered showing Carson, a school friend, the secret path down at the water park. They were all bent over looking at the path, when Carson began to scratch in the sand, throwing sand on Shandi. She asked him to quit but instead, he dug faster so she used the stick in her hand and in her own words, “she just went lost out of her mind and hit him with the stick”. “But I apologized to him, momo, but he wouldn’t listen.” She said.
I asked her when does she usually get lost out of her mind and she said when she got really mad. “That’s when the evil Shandi appears.”
“The evil Shandi?” I asked.
“Yes, the evil Shandi, momo”.
I told her that I thought that was simply the angry Shandi and it was what we worked on learning how to handle our anger properly. She lets out this exasperated sigh and states,”You call it what you want, momo, I call it evil Shandi.”
“But, I have a good Shandi too. When evil Shandi isn’t out, good Shandi is. Do you know that Britanny says there is a boy Shandi? There is no such thing. There is only one Shandi and it’s ME. But, maybe my mama had a boy Shandi in her tummy, and he got dead before he was born, so it was only me, Shandi, who come out of my mommy’s tummy. Could that be right, momo?” She asked.
Well, no, darling, it couldn’t be right, I explained to her. Mommy only had you.
Eventually she accepted that truth, but I’m still not sure she was convinced. With that, as is usual with Shandi, she stopped talking.
Today their father came and got them around 9, to spend time with them. He planned to take them to a park to play, then have a cook out. He managed to tell me without Ana hearing that this would be her surprise birthday party since he would be at work the 27th, which is her birthday.

The Battle has been Won

I've had an extremely satisfying day. First the ruling on Shandi. I called to see if the test results were in on her testing. They were and we able to go on down and speak with the SPED Case Manager. She actually scored higher in reading and English on this test, using Peabody’s testing than she had on the Wechslet Intelligence Test; however she scored lower in math problem solving. But she qualified for special services in school; qualifying in her math, but will receive help in her reading also.
We were given two choices. Leave her at Salem where there is 1 inclusion teacher who is working with children in 3 classes; or bus her to Tylertown where there is an inclusion class with a special teacher who is there 3 days a week along with a regular teacher and an aide. They also have a reading program which is computer based which helps children like Shandi.
We chose to leave her at Salem for now and see how things go. Julie, the Case Manager said that at any time we felt it would be in Shandi’s best interest to transfer her, we can revisit the IEP which we will meet and write next Wednesday.

Then we went up to Stacie's to clean her house. The first thing when I walked on her porch, a guinea wasp stung me on the ankle. We looked but couldn't find it. Then one got Connie when she walked up. Connie had offered to come clean it, but Stacie wanted me there too. We had the Shandi's room clean and was working in the living room when Connie got there. We got that cleaned and Stacie's room, while Connie did the bathroom and kitchen, and helped us some in the living room. She swept and mopped behind us. While working in Stacie’s room, I was crawling up under the head of Stacie's waterbed to snake a cord down thru the bed and out the other side to plug in the waterbed (the house has few plug outlets) I whacked my elbow on the corner of the bed and just about messed in my pants. Finally it quit hurting enough I could move it. Then I had to make the turn into the center of the bed and crawl half way in it to get the cord far enough for Stacie to reach. After she left, Stacie and I tackled the play room while Ana tackled her room. Other than a pile of clothes to wash and fold, her house is clean and I mean really clean.
She's complained for years about not knowing how to organize, getting started on one thing and seeing something else and starting that. Add to that, she'll get discouraged and stop and get on the computer. Well, we didn't let her stop today and that house is the cleanest I've ever seen it.

When Terry came up to see the results of our labor, he found our wasp nest and took care of it. It was under the porch and I wasn’t looking from the right angle to see it.


I so wish we had taken some before pictures, but we didn't. But imagine clothes, empty and half empty drink bottles strewn about, rubbermaid totes here and there, stuff overflowing out of them, clothes baskets here and there with clothes in them and just general trash and stuff from younguns not cleaning up behind themselves and you have an idea of what shape it was in.

She told me this evening she actually felt like it was becoming home to her. She has every intention of keeping it that way, but knowing her, it will still get in a mess from time to time. But I do know she had intentions of keeping it clean and teaching the girls to clean it.

Then about the time I was going to get online it began thundering, then the lights went out, so I organized Shandi's folder on our steps to get her help.

I think I'm tired.

Shandi/grounding Ana/school

I've never felt so sorry for a child than I did Shandi this evening.
School papers from the past week came home today. Two of them were repeats from last week; the ones where she had written her story. The other half of the paper was finding the misspelled word. She made an F on both of them. She missed all the misspelled words and didn't even attempt to write a story. When I asked her she said she got behind and couldn't finish it.

She had one Reading Comprehension paper that she made an 86 on. When she saw it she says, "I didn't make a hundred?" "No" I said, "But look, you made an 86. That is great." "She tears up and says, "But I tried so hard to make a hundred. I want to make a hundred." I said,"But baby, 86 is so good in a subject you have problems in."

By now she's crying and so am I. She tells me again how hard she tries to make hundreds.

Then we come home and do the homework. Afterwards, we're going over the papers and I'm explaining to her her mistakes. She spotted the two papers with an F on them. Those weren't the only ones, but it's what she saw. Then she wants to know why she isn't grounded for making an F. "I'm supposed to be grounded for making F's. That is the rule."

Lord, I didn't know what to say, so I asked her, "Do you want to be grounded?"
She says she doesn't, but it's the rules.

I say, "Well, I suppose we could ground you if that's what you think you need."

All this time I'm thinking and praying, God, help me help her understand. I'm also about to cry.

So I ended up telling her that for right now she's in a class room filled with children who do not struggle nearly as hard as she does to make the grade. She is in there because the school hasn't gotten up off of it to give her the services she needs. Once she gets those services, THEN if she makes F's, or if she simply doesn't try her best, then we will ground her in a heartbeat. She seemed satisfied with that.

I thought about talking with her about her limitations, but I don't know how to go about doing that, and not say the wrong thing.

Do you have suggestions? Do you think I need to call and set them up an appointment so we can help her understand why she isn't grounded? Stacie and I simply can't see grounding her for something that she cannot help and she can't help not being able to grasp all the school work. After all, even with her adaptive skills, a 59 IQ limits a person's ability to comprehend certain concepts.

Also, Ana is having a hard time with the fact that Stacie is planning to return to school. We think she's subconsciously remembering that Garry molested her during Stacie's last session in school, but she doesn't tell us when we ask her why does she become so upset when Stacie mentions school. She only says it's because mom will always be gone.

child suicide

Sunday night in Discipleship Training our discussion got around to children who commit or attempt to commit suicide. We were led toward this discussion because a 2nd grader from a neighboring county had attempted to hang himself in his closet. The consensus of many in the class was that he attempted suicide because of the violent TV he watched or because he had horrible parents. Normal children do not think of such things as such a young age.

I tend to disagree and today I had the opportunity to talk with a young man who gave me his viewpoint on this topic based on personal experience.

MN is a young man who co-owns a nursery business and landscape business.
M is ADD/ADHD and says if it weren't that his mom is a teacher and had tutored him nightly, he wouldn't be where he is today. He graduated high school and college and has a landscape business also.

He takes Adderal for his ADD/ADHD, and because of Shandi, I am always asking him stuff about his ADD and I get answers from the adult viewpoint, answers I can understand.

Here's the interesting things about our conversation today. He brought up the fact that anxiety and depression go along with ADD/ADHD. Then he goes on to tell me that even as a 4 year old he knew about suicide. He says he does not remember this incident but it is what prompted his mom and dad, who is a lawyer, to get him some help. They tell him he came down the hall dragging the shotgun and when asked what he planned to do he told them he was going to kill himself with it. He says that he doesn't want to think crazy thoughts, but he'll be driving down the road and seemingly out of nowhere comes the thought--now if I hit that tree just so then I will be gone, dead.
He said he could be at a water park having a blast and suddenly the thought comes >>>>>>> This is only going to last a short while. In 30 minutes we'll be leaving and all this fun will be over, then what? He says he can go to bed feeling fine, not depressed, and wake up in the middle of the night thinking suicide thoughts.
He says he battles them all the time. He loves his job. He enjoys life, but from time to time throughout the day these thoughts of suicide or what's the use, or what's next comes to mind.
Imagine my surprise that he came today and not only that he came out today, but he brought up the suicide topic. But then, why would I be surprised. God always gives the answers I need.

He said diet plays a huge part in how he feels too. Plenty of water, few soft drinks, more veggies and raw is better, and little meat and bread. Of course he doesn't stick to that himself, but he says he knows he feels better when he eats right.

I know we talked for 2 hours about ADD and I learned so much. He says that kids who do attempt suicide today, and those who succeed don't necessarily do it simply based on what they watch on TV or their family life. He had a wonderful family life according to him. Mom is a teacher, dad a lawyer, he has an older brother and older sister and a younger brother. They lived reasonably well but not extravagently.

Monday, Monday

Ana’s been sick most of the week with a sinus infection, but by Saturday night her fever was beginning to climb rather than stay normal. Sunday morning she felt ok enough to go to church, probably because the 5th Sunday is her favorite day to attend because of Communion/Lord’s Supper. By the time we got home her temp was 101 and climbing even though she had taken some Tylenol that morning. Stacie opted to take her to ER.
The doc ordered a swab and finally came back and said it wasn’t flu but it was viral. No school for 2 days and check in with the family doctor. What he didn’t tell us and what the family doctor did say was that when they rule out flu—they rule out the regular type of flu. They don’t have a swab test for the Swine flu and that is probably what she had.
Well, ran to school to get Ana's work for these two days. Only 1 teacher and 1 aid were already in the classroom so didn't accomplish a thing there other than to be told by the two who were there that she could make it up when she came back.

Then tried to pay my electric bill online and only 1 of the 4 accounts we have would show up. Called MEPA and the girl said it showed on hers. So logged off, tried again, same thing. Tried to start another account with the blanket account number these 4 accounts are listed under, no go. Called back to pay by phone and after doing so the girl I spoke with there fixed it. She said someone had made changes and that had messed up the account.

Then had a phone call from the blooming idiot who installed my wildblue, and he talked for an hour wanting poppy seeds to make fall decorations. Yeah right! He was an airhead the day he was here, stayed on the phone making what sounded like drug deals and then wanted to come out and give me a free check up on my satellite. I don't think so! Plus he wants me to order him some poppy seed.

Then was paying a credit card, one they upgraded because I'm such a good customer, which gives me a new account number. I had changed that number on my folder and my reminder sheet about what each card is used for--I'm organized to the hilt on some things and a total slob on others. We use cc's to track plant expenses and the hardgoods we sell in the store along with the supplies like trays, fertilizer, cell packs and such. Plants go on one card and hardgoods on another which makes it easy at income tax time to just print that out rather than digging up receipts.
Ok back to the story, I had changed the number on the folder in the filing cabinet and on the reminder list, but the bill was under the old number, the website showed the new number so had to go digging for that information and try to not get confused. Then it was remember to change the file name to the confirmation folder where I save that information rather than wasting all the paper to print them out.

Oh, I volunteered to help out at school when they have a need. Told Mr. Boyd during the slow times I could volunteer a few hours here and there when they needed an extra set of eyes and hands. He thanked me but didn't ask me to come help today even though Shandi's teacher isn't there and she only has the aid, Lana Rushing.
Most of my day then was spent visiting with customers until time to water. Brenda called after supper. She was scheduled for a CT scan tomorrow in Hattiesburg. The Radiology called to say that unless she could pay the deductable on her medical insurance, they would have to cancel the scan. She explained to them that this was due to an accident. They said they would have to check with her doctor’s office to be sure he knew. She told them he already knew that. Then they said they would have to check with the finance office on what to do since they didn’t deal with 3rd party insurances anymore.
She was so upset. Her stomach has been swelled and hurting since the wreck and she can’t eat over a few bites at a time. We’ve tried to get her to go to an emergency room and maybe if they cancel this scan she will finally do that.

Right or wrong or is there a right or wrong

Ana is almost 11, so she's probably entering pre-puberty. So are all her friends. She's been sick most of the week with a sinus infection but has gone to school anyway.

Yesterday evening after school her 'best' friend Cheyenne called to ask/tell her that her other friend, Bridget was mad at her because another girl, Tori, had told Bridget that Ana had called Bridget an idiot. Ana told Cheyenne she didn't say that. After they hung up Ana explained to us that Tori had always treated her this way, and that Tori said come Monday she would twist Ana's head off.

It wasn't but a few minutes that Bridget called. Bridget was accusing Ana of calling her an idiot and I heard Ana re-affirm that she didn't say such a thing, then she started crying.

At that point I took the phone from Ana and said to Bridget: Bridget, Ana is sick. She says she didn't call you an idiot and I believe her. I'd appreciate it if you would not call and upset her since she is sick. If you are truly Ana's friend you will not believe what other people tell you.

I said all this very nicely. Bridget hung up and so did I.

Now I wonder if I should have let Ana handle that herself or did my setting the example of not accepting unacceptable behavior was the right thing to do. They are all still children and need to learn to do these things themselves. But since they are children, I feel sometimes they need some adult intervention.

Add to that the fact that I, myself, wasn't up for yet another upsetting situation at the time. I was still processing the info on Shandi, worrying about Ana not getting any better, and worrying about my step-grandson, Garrett who was picked up from school running high fever and he just finished up a run of antibiotic.

So weigh in ladies--help me out here because this isn't the first time this little girl has called repeatedly and upset Ana. It is the first time I have intervened and took care of the situation.

acid reflux and migraines

I guess I've been processing the latest news on Shan. It just blew me away when he said what he did.

We took her because she's complained frequently about her stomach feeling like she was going to throw up and burping and it burning her throat. Sounded like acid reflux to me and since she takes the ADHD meds, I wasn't sure exactly what would work well with that medication.

She wasn't in a good mood this evening, she's felt bad all week. There was nothing specific, just not feeling well most days. I feel some of it is pressure from school.
He asked her what was wrong and she said she didn't feel good. When he wanted to know where she felt bad, she said her head hurt.

He then asked if it hurt often and I told him that out of 7 days, there probably aren't 2 days she doesn't complain with headache. What did I do for them? I give her Ibuprofen and let her lay down if possible. I explained that last year at school the teachers said she always complained after the reading class. We thought for a while it might be a way she thought she could get out of reading, but when she had to continue reading and still complained with headaches, we deduced that wasn't the case. She has glasses and wears them.

As he wrote in her file, he said what I wasn't sure was-it is or is not migraines. I asked him to repeat what he said and he says, "I think she's having migraines."
Ok, I said, in a shocked tone of voice.
He then says it's common in children.

I looked it up on the internet and it is. Stress, noise, foods, smells, all the normal things that cause migraines in adults, cause them in children.

I have to print out a calendar and track the number of headaches she has until we go back in October. Then we'll go from there. I'm going to try to get her to describe the pain. He said give her something for the pain, place a cool rag on her head and let her lie down in a quiet, darkened room until it eased. Same as for adults.

I just keep thinking that the older she gets, the more medical problems crop up. The child has a load to deal with as is, and I simply want to cry for her. She is usually such a little trooper and sometimes I wonder how fair is this; but then I have, and I mean I HAVE to tell myself that God is in control and God knows best, and He is Shandi's God the same as He is my God.

Thanks for listening to me cry about my baby. I know it could be far worse. She could have a disease that could kill her in 2 months; she could be deformed, she could be much worse off than she is. I am very grateful that she isn't all those things and that she is just the way she is in comparison to what could be. But I still hurt for her and I know there is a reason even for that. I know that through all of this God is showing me a lot of things, and He has a lot more to show me. I just need to trust in that process.

Note from teacher

August 26, 2009

I wrote Ms. Patricia a note which stated: I may have to come in for lessons on how you want homework corrections done. I’m not sure I understand what you want us to do. They appear to be already corrected when I look at them. I go over as many of them as I can with her, but given we spend 2 hours alone on homework each evening, and Wednesday is prayer meeting night, our time is limited.

August 27,2009

She wrote back:

Ms. Klara, You do more to ensure Shandi’s success than any family I know. If you ever feel you want to keep her papers an extra night, that is fine with me. Only go over as many as it takes to help her understand why she missed that kind of questions. She deserves play time. She is a very hard working young lady.

P. Boyd



August 27, 2009

Ms. Patricia,

Thank you for that vote of confidence. I do work with her a lot each evening. I realize that your day if full, but I also know if I don’t know things I can’t work with her or share with her mother what is going on. Shandi tells me most everything, but some evenings I am not really clear on exactly what happened due to her inability to always express herself clearly.

Today she was telling me about a problem with Kallie. She said she didn’t want to play with Kallie, she wanted to play with Brittany and it upset Kallie. I can understand that and I want for Shandi to learn to be nice to other children; so what I’m asking is if there is a significant problem going on at school due to Shandi’s inability to interact properly with other children, I need to know about it.

I am very aware from past experiences, that if we don’t monitor her progress carefully, help her in every way we know possible and teach her properly, she will end up being a statistic: drugs, alcohol, school drop out or worse, suicide. I also know I can’t solve her problems, but I can certainly do whatever I can to give her the love, support and guidance she needs and I believe the school will do all they can also.

I’m very grateful she has you for a teacher and I believe that is God’s answer to prayers. With all her problems, I have prayed each year that she get the teacher meant for her for that year. Don’t ever hesitate to let me know how I can further help Shandi.

Thank you

Shandi's Story and progress report

As written:
I hev a pul and we got in it and I had a flude and I got on it and I got aot and I win sid and we woch a move and we go pogorn and I wit to gow a bath and win I get iat the bath and we wit to bed and in the muren we wit at momos haws and we et brdis and thin we with to the gren hos and I got me a greg and thin we wint bak taw the has and we woch a move and I was in ma rum and I plad a gam with ma sistr and I wit to gow to bed and ma mom wit to bed and thin ma sistr wit to bed and in the muren and we wit in the livrum.

Of course punctuation is out of the question for lots of lids her age. I realize that, And like the email that circulates, we can figure out a lot of these words simply because they have a few of the right letters in them.

Her story is and I will punctuate it:
I have a pool. We got in it and I had a floatie. I got on it and got hot. I went inside and we watched a movie. We got popcorn (I couldn't figure that one out for the longest. I went to get a bath and when I got out of the bath we went to bed. In the morning we went at momo's house and we ate breakfast. Then we went to the greenhouse and got me a (drink)??? Then we went back to the house and we watched a movie. I was in mom's room and I played a game with my sister. I went to go to bed, my mom went to bed and then my siter went to bed. In the morning we went in the living room.

The funny thing is this story was supposed to be My favorite Fairy Tale, yet it's her life. The page that was written on had 10 sentences to find the spelling errors in and she made an F on that part. She got none of them correct.

The other story fits the topic, I remember a time I couldn't sleep. She tells about staying up at night to take care of the kitten they raised on a bottle. Kitten was spelled kin and I thought I'd never figure that out until I asked her about it. She had spelling to check on that one too and made 30 on it. She took an open book test on the story they read last week and made 53 on it even though she read the story several times, she wrote down the answers to the questions and we studied it on Thursday nite before the test.

She did have a paper that were reading comprehension questions that she had an 80 on. Her math grades range from 90 to a 38. she has an average of 88 in math, 82 in reading and 30 in English.

Wasp stings

This morning I stepped outside with my coffee--Ana was down here already and said that Shandi had to go back in the house to take a pill bottle back. Ana had her medicine and Shandi thought she didn't have any pills down here, and had picked up Stacie's bottle of meds, so she went back in their house to put it up. Anyway, I stepped outside and heard this awful noise. I listened again, thinking what in the world is that. I finally deduced it was a youngun screaming. I ran in, asked Ana if Shandi had made it down and she said no. I ran out again this time on the patio so I could see up the hill to Stacies and I saw Shan standing in the front yard screaming her head off. All I could think of was a snake or a bad dog or wild animal was there although I couldn't see anything but Shan and the cats. I took off running up the hill and hollering asking her what was wrong. She would yell back what SOUNDED like "I watched TV" , so I'm thinking, did she think she was late for the bus? I asked again and she said what sounded like the same thing, so I think, maybe she said a rock in the tv and I thought, Oh no, she threw a rock into Stacie's tv and broke it. (She is prone to total meltdowns when she becomes frustrated) So I'm running as best I can, with COPD that isn't easy, and finally I get to her. What happened now, hon, I asked her. A wasp stung me.

OMG--I thought, what if she's allergic, at least it isn't a rock in Stacie's tv who can't afford to replace it right now, let me see how bad this is. Sure enough, something stung her on the back of the leg. I brought her on down and put some bleach on it, found some tobacco from a cig butt and wet it and put it on there. Tobacco is great for pulling the poison from a sting like that. She finally calmed down and got ok although when she walked out to the bus she was limping like her leg would fall off. It hadn't started swelling bad so I think she'll be ok.

Testing and Open House

Monday, August 24, 2009
Stacie and I met with Mr. Boyd, principal of Salem School where Shandi Rogers attends 3rd grade. Shandi’s disability case worker, Sue Cannimore suggested that we meet with the principal and enquire about the testing date for Shandi to receive special services for her learning disability.
Mr. Boyd had not heard anything from the SPED department concerning any testing date for Shandi.
He called Mr. Danny McCallum, Supt. Of Ed. For the Walthall School District and handed me the phone. I asked Mr. McCallum if he knew when the date was set for Shandi’s testing because there are permission papers to be signed by the parent before testing can begin. He had no knowledge of this testing but did assure me he would call the SPED department and speak with Ms. Cherry Smith to try and determine what the date would be. He assured me someone would be in touch with me shortly.

While at school I spoke with Shandi’s 1st grade teacher, Allison Stringer. The paperwork from Shandi’s 17 week evaluation which was done the last weeks of her first grade could not be found at the TST meeting held on August 27, 2008 at Salem School. Even though I called the State Dept. of Ed and complained and they at least went far enough to not make Shandi go through another 17 weeks of evaluation, her original work was never located. Apparently Pearline Downs lost it. They found ‘some’ paperwork but it was not the full original folder. I believe this hindered Shandi from getting the help she needed during the 2nd grade school year.

I also spoke with Ms. String and Shandi’s 2nd grade teacher concerning forming a network of support for concerned relatives of children with learning disabilities. They were very encouraging and felt that such a group would be very beneficial.
8:59 8/24/09

Mr. McCallum, Superintendent of Education for Walthall School District called. He had spoken with Ms. Cherry Smith, Director of SPED and Shandi’s testing date is set for Wednesday, August 26,2009. A Pevey will be doing the testing. We are to call Cherry Smith to determine if this test will be at Salem School or at the SPED department , what time and about signing the permission slip.
Stacie called SPED, then went to sign updated permission form for the testing. A Bro. Pevey, a pastor and child psychologist will perform the testing. It will be done either tomorrow, Tuesday, 8/25/09 or Wednesday, 8/26/09. The testing will include an achievement test and an ability test, according to Mrs. Etheridge, Case Manager in SPED.

I also called Salem School and informed them of the testing set for Shandi.

It turned out really good. I handed out about 11 flyers to various teachers and all were receptive. One, Karen Rushing was really excited. I knew Shandi's former teachers would be and even her teacher this year was open to the idea; so that was a God thing to print those up.

Shandi's grades in math were good, except for some reading problems. Her reading however wasn't. We didnt' expect it to be. Patricia showed us one paper where they had to write their own story. Most of it look liked random letters written down in word form, (I'll copy it for you when the papers come home tomorrow so you can see what I mean) She had made a 45 of that paper. Patricia says, "See her beautiful story? She knows every word in it even though you may not can read it, she can. She writes wonderful stories."
Honestly, Patricia must have had Shandi read it to her in order for her to know that.

She has put a little girl with Shandi to help her with her reading and patricia thinks that will help Shandi a lot.

Then we talked with Ana's teachers. Ana got her MCT2 test results and is proficient in all subjects. She aced the algebra part of it, getting 7 points out of a possible 7 points. Grammar is her worst area so we're going to start working on that.

We also talked with the counselor, Mr. Fortenberry. We explained to him the situation with Shandi, yet again. I spoke with him concerning her twice last year. One time he made the remark that if he had known about her he would have already done some checking on getting her tested verbally. I informed him that i did speak with him last year about her. He's going to look up her file tomorrow and do some checking. If he doesn't forget.

All in all it was an enjoyable time. I think the only negative part of the night was when I walked in Jocile Martin's class. She was Jocile Boyd back when we went to school and was never an outgoing type. She has only gotten worse and more bitter acting as she aged. She took one of the flyers, but she acted as though I was handing her a cobra. LOL I didn't get to see Lisa Wicker, the pastor of Salem's wife, who is one of the kindergarten teachers, but I'll catch her later.

More on F you

Received this from son last night after our phone conversation

look here tried to ask u for help ........... i dont do that shit any more and u want to be like that to me well fuck u then , u are not my mom , i must been adopted then well heres news 4 u when u die ill piss on ur grave 4 u untill then fuck off

F you

I have spent the past 3 hours reading about getting a child help in school. There is so much information out there and sometimes I feel my brain is so small.

It is 9:50 and I just received a phone call from Robby.
It was short, but it wasn't sweet.
He said he needed a place to stay because some crack heads had moved in next door and he'd been sitting there watching them smoke crack and was beginning to want to smoke crack. He said he couldn't stay there.

I said, I'm sorry, but you can't stay here either.

He said, F*** you and hung up.

As a mother, a southern mother no less and as a Christian, the natural instinct is to help anyone who needs helps, most of all your own child. I do not want him to smoke crack. However, his staying here would not prevent him from smoking crack because when he was here the last time, he smoked the stuff. If he does not want to be tempted, he should not sit there and watch them smoke. He is responsible for his own actions. I am not responsible for them or for providing him a place to stay.

You are a smart woman and I'm sure you've figured out that I am simply affirming to myself that I did what was right and that I am not a mean, hateful person for saying no to a temped drug addict.

Terry is asleep so I could not share this with him, so you're the lucky person tonight.

Anniversary Trip

We left Wednesday nite after prayer meeting. We wanted to be there because we were deciding whether to begin having a light fellowship pot luck meal before prayer meeting. We wanted to express our approval of that idea.

I hadn't slept much Tuesday nite, so I took a pillow, expecting to become sleepy on the way down. I made it about 2 hours into the trip, but rather than reach back and get my pillow I leaned my head back and practiced *do it yourself whip lash* the remaining 30-45 minutes of the trip. Ya know, where you drop off to sleep and your head tries to roll off the seat back so you jerk it upright only to repeat the movement in the opposite direction in 5 minutes. When you are jerking from side to side, you're slinging it into an upright position.
We got to mothers and I walked in, shucked my blouse and capris and fell into bed and slept until 7 this next morning.

The rest of the time on the coast was spent trying to out wit the hot flashes, the heat of the weather and wondering why some people have to have their AC set for freezer burn.

Mother looks good, although I noticed a subdued tone and look about her. She's always been such a bossy, get it done, opinionated woman. Being thrown flat of her back with no assurance that this situation will change seems to have defeated her to some degree. It was sad for me to see this.

We shopped all evening but didn't buy much; just looked and browsed and enjoyed being away. We ate supper at the Beau Rivage and I ate my fair share of snow crab legs and fried shrimp.

Today we got up, visited with Judy and Robert, then came as far as Hattisburg where we met Brenda for lunch. She was on her way to spend her weekend on the coast with mother. We visited with our nursery friends, ran by the hospital to see another nursery friend who had hip replacement surgery yesterday, then headed home.

We hadn't been home but an hour tops when Brenda called. She had been involved in a 4 car wreck. In fact there were about 3 or 4 wrecks all due to the same idiot, but each set of vehicles was separated out into specific incidents. Seems some fool decided to stop in the middle of their lane on the interstate due to heavy rain. The car ahead of Brenda had to slam on brakes and skidded into the stopped car, Brenda did the same as did the car behind her. This repeated itself a few more times for the several wrecks.
Brenda had nothing broken, but it probably totaled her car out.

Children's advocate

What a day! First, Hugh came by to ask about what happened in prayer meeting. We discussed the church situation at length.
Then Pearline Carr-Downs came by. She is Ana’s teacher for homeroom and English, I think. She is also the TSP-(Teacher Support Person) who is the one who sees that paper work is filled out for children with special needs. She has a nephew who is being left behind like Shan and she heard, from Shan’s last year teacher, I’m sure, that I had a number to the Advocacy Services. She wanted the number because she was fed up with being given the run-around by our director of SPED, the Superintendent of Education and every one in between. I gave it to her, the name of the person she needed to speak with and got her email so I can email her some links I have found to be helpful for informational purposes. She encouraged me to hang onto every piece of information I have, keep digging, keep pushing, keep learning because they all might need her.
Seems I’ve gained a reputation as being a fighter for the rights of the children. Seems I’ve gained a couple more supporters—this lady and her sister, the mother of the child who is being left behind. I’m excited for more reasons than just that I have someone on my side. I’m excited because it shows clearly that the problems with children getting help or not getting help isn’t racially based. Shan is white, the lady and her nephew are black. I never thought it was, myself, but I have had several people to remark in that direction. I believe this proves that theory wrong. Another reason I am excited is that I believe all of us need a cause—something to push for, something to believe, something to be passionate about, something that not only gives one a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment, but also enhances the life of others. Who better to have their lives enhanced than our children?

Stoves and Poinsettias

A church friend is selling a brand new stove, a Whirlpool, never been used, she paid 600.00 for it and she’s selling it for 200.00. I’m buying it because ours has been a pain in the butt ever since we got it. Terry was ready to go get that stove this morning, but I told him they were busy with a yard sale and it could wait. I knew it probably wouldn't be a problem, but I also knew if he went and got it, the poinsettias wouldn't get planted and that needed doing first.

He filled the rest of the pots, I watered most all the fern house before he was done, then he helped finish it. We planted the babies. Planting poinsettias is more than just filling pots and sticking them in the dirt. The bottom larger leaves have to pinched off because that is where white fly larvae live, and just to add another layer to white fly prevention, you pinch those off and discard them. Then we plant, then we put a tsp of slow release fertilizer, then sprinkle them with disyston, which helps prevent whiteflies. Later on, around Nov, I'll give them a 1/2 tsp of marathon which should finish them off white fly free. My index finger is sore from pinching leaves, until finally I thought to grab my scissors and cut them off. *duh*

Then we ate lunch and watered the plantation. We had some time after watering so I started cleaning up on the outside by the fern house. I call it the west side because it's the west side of the biz. Then the weather got bad so I came home.

I've sat on my hiney and done nothing since then. I need to be working on the website, putting up the fall bedding, but I can't with the girls here interrupting me.

Sounds like life to me

In my life I've spent a good amount of time sitting on the pity pot. I've whined, cried, felt sorry for myself, gotten frustrated, become angry, railed against the world. Naturally, none of these things solved my problems. These actions and behaviors only made me a more angry and bitter. After beginning my journey into al-anon, I am learning to Let Go and Let God, to trust that things are how they should be, to live my life and let others live theirs, to know completely that there is a reason for everything that comes into my life--AND--the quicker I accept that, the quicker I learn something new, grow some more and become more of the person God intends me to be.

Every day of my life used to be a crisis and I was a drama queen in the midst of that crisis. I have learned that handing that crisis over to God, doing what I can about the situation and letting the rest go gains me more confidence, more self esteem, more respect and should I desire it, more attention than all the drama I can create with my poor me, why is this happening to me, how will I make it through's that I was prone to engage in before recovery.

This song really speaks to me when I think of how I used to be and when I encounter those people that every moment of every day is a crisis.

*disclaimer, if I tagged you, it's only because I knew you'd understand and might enjoy reading what I wrote, not because I thought that you, specifically, were engaging in the behaviors I used to engage in.*

Darryl Worley, Wynn Varble, Phil O’Donnell )

Got a call last night from an old friend’s wife
Said I hate to bother you
Johnny Ray fell off the wagon
He’s been gone all afternoon
I know my buddy so I drove to Skully’s
And found him at the bar
I say hey man, what’s going on
He said I don’t know where to start

Sarah’s old car’s about to fall apart
And the washer quit last week
We had to put momma in the nursing home
And the baby’s cutting teeth
I didn’t get much work this week
And I got bills to pay
I said I know this ain’t what you wanna hear
But it’s what I’m gonna say

(Chorus)
Sounds like life to me it ain’t no fantasy
It’s just a common case of everyday reality
Man I know it’s tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy
It sounds like life to me

Well his face turned red and he shook his head
He said you don’t understand
Three kids and a wife depend on me
And I’m just one man
To top it off I just found out
That Sarah’s 2 months late
I said hey bartender set us up a round
We need to celebrate

(Chorus)
Sounds like life to me plain old destiny
Yeah the only thing for certain is uncertainty
You gotta hold on tight just enjoy the ride
Get used to all this unpredictability
Sounds like life

Man I know its tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy
Sounds like life to me
Sounds like life

Robby

Paula, Robby's gf called crying. They had borrowed a tv that was my former neighbors, who is now dead. She wanted to know if she could keep it because Robby was leaving and was going to take the tv. I said, yes you can keep the tv, Robby has no to haul it, nowhere to put it. Besides, where is he going?

She thought he was going to come to Bob's, my friend who lives less than 2 miles from me. I said, NO, not if I can help it. After we got off the phone, I thought about calling Robby but then thought, no, don't create a crisis, but don't prevent one either. Within 5 minutes Bob called me. He saw where Robby had left a message and wondered if I knew what it was about. I told him.

*here I shout halleujah* Bob says, "Well I already have a house guest, so I don't have room for him"

Thank you HP, Thank you!!!

Now, where I am is here--I don't worry what will happen to him because he's a male and can survive better than a female. I also know that Robby throws these fits about once a month and most of the time he gets over them. Hopefully, or not, he won't end up in jail from disturbing the peace. If he leaves, I predict/expect that it won't be long before he is on the hard drugs, if he hasn't already started since he's showing his behind.

Where I falter is here--should Robby come out, face to face and ask if he could stay, and spin me a yarn a mile and half long, I'd have a hard time saying no. That is where I HAVE to project, I have to have in my mind a game plan should this event take place. I have to have formulated in my mind what I will say, how I will say it and already be prepared for the fall out from my decision. Caught off guard, I don't do well. I know this about myself and try my best to use the "let me think about it" ploy to gain me some time; but sometimes I forget.

Prayer Meeting

We are without a pastor right now and those of us willing to do so, are taking turns bringing a short devotion for prayer meeting.
Tonight was my turn and this is what I shared:

Several years ago, before my g’ma admitted herself into the nursing home, she decided one day that she needed to come live with us.
Fine.
What wasn’t fine was all the stuff she needed to bring. We had a spare room which we fixed up for her a bedroom. But she wanted her tv, her dishes, her recliner, her refrigerator and various other cherished and to her, much needed items.
So, we took the room I had used to paint my woodwork in, moved all our den furniture out there and set her up her own living room, complete with a dining table in it. It totally changed the way we were used to looking at our home.
While g’ma’s stuff was familiar to us, it wasn’t familiar in the setting of our own home. Our furniture was crammed into a room not nearly big enough for it and necessitated our moving some of my craft items out to the shed.
I really didn’t mind doing all this, I did mind undoing a month later when she decided to move back home, where she lived alone for another year before entering the nursing home.

Now during the month gma stayed with us, the rooms inside my home told anyone who came to visit a lot about us. It told them that we loved and respected g’ma enough to move as many of her personal items into our home as we could, so she could be comfortable and feel more at home. It told people that we valued family far more than we valued the ‘proper’ look of a room.

So the rooms inside our home told a lot about the way we lived our life.

But what do our inner rooms tell us about the way we live our lives?

Galatians 5:22, 23 says:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith
V.23 Meekness, temperance, against such there is no law.

Let’s take love—do we have love in our heart for everyone, whether they are a family member, friend or foe? Do we truly love them the way God loves them—desiring that come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ; or do we compartmentalize our love?
It’s usually easy to love our spouse, our children, our grandchildren, parents and grandparents. *note I said usually*
But what about those people who simply rub us the wrong way?
What about those we know are living a life of sin?
Do we love them? Or do we judge them, gossip about them, shun them?

Let’s look at joy. Are we always filled with joy, or just when things are going our way. It’s easy to be joyful when life is good, the bills are paid, there’s extra money and all looks good. It’s easy to be joyful when the kids are healthy, and everything is going fine.
But that joy is dependant upon our circumstances, our surroundings. As Christians, we are to be filled with joy, the Joy of the Lord, and we are to be joyful regardless of what is going on in our life because *greater than He that is in you than He that is in the world.

The same goes for peace—if we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, then regardless of what happens in our life, we will have the peace that passes all understanding. Do you have inner peace, regardless of what is happening in your world? Do you believe the promises of God? Do you claim those promises? Are do you go about worrying and fretting because you have problems and trials?

Longsuffering-or patience. Oh this is one I often struggle with. I never have been the most patient person in the world-I don’t like to wait on something, I don’t like to be around a lot of noise or arguing and as a mother could be very impatient with my children. I often find myself, even today, impatient with people who simply don’t seem to want to do what is needed to fix the problems in their life.
And I imagine there are many like that—yet when we are in public-be it church, town, a social gathering, where ever—we can pretend to be patient. Never would we dream of losing our cool in public—but what happens when we get home?
How many of you have spent the better part of a church service dealing with a wiggling, noisy child. Patiently you corrected that child, you even took the child out and maybe spanked him or her, but always in a low voice and with awesome control.
But get in the car and on the way home and let that child do one little thing that ‘breaks that thin thread you’ve been hanging on by for the past hour’ and what happens?

What about gentleness? Goodness?
It’s so easy to be gentle in a public setting with acquaintances and strangers, but are we always gentle with our family? Or do we often respond to them in sharp tones, say sarcastic things to them, ignore them even?

And there is faith—how easy it is to spout faith to a hurting friend; how easy it is to portray a life of faith in front of others when you are in that faith room of yourself. Do you remain in that faith room when you are home alone; or does fear, worry and heartache burden you down and cause you to lose sleep, doubt not only yourself, but God?

And then there is meekness—or humility. Oh, so many of us only have a tiny room in ourselves for meekness. NO, we have to be right, we have to be in control, we have to be top dog in whatever we’re doing. Our name best be mentioned in public for all the good deeds we’ve done.

Lastly, what about temperance. Temperance is actually moderation, be it in reference to what we say, what we do, or what we consume.
Proverbs 16:32 says He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit than he taketh a city.
So how moderate are we in what we say?
What we do?
What we eat or drink?


Is our room of love large enough to include everyone?
Does our joy and peace room give off a steady light for all to see?
How large is our room of patience and faith?
Do we have a room of gentleness, goodness, meekness and temperance which we only visit when we’re in public?



What do the rooms inside our homes and ourselves have to tell us about the way we live our lives?

Yeast Infections

I told the doc about my 2 rounds of Monistat and still itching. He looks and says I must have had enough yeast to start a bakery, cause I still got yeast.
Must be bad--he gave me 10 Diflucan to take 1 twice daily for 5 days. A friend said she had never heard of taking it that many days, nor twice a day. I told her I was a stubborn soul.

And just to be on the safe side, he took a culture to see if it grows anything different.
Who knows--there may be the next world epidemic growing up in the dark recesses of that place. *ROFLMAO

Seriously though, he said he would call if my culture grew anything. We discussed the benefits of eating yogurt, possibly stop taking my hormone--*yikes*

So I ask him what about the emotional side effects of NO hormone. I assured him that I do talk to myself about this being menopause, blah, blah, blah--but when you live with Terry Reid, run a business and have Stacie and 2 grands around all the time...well, sometimes you just want to pinch a head a two.

He laughed and said that was more than just hormones!!!!!

He mentioned if the emotional aspect of no hormones got to me too bad, he'd put me on an anti-depressant.

But doc, we've already proven that I can't take those; so I guess I'm just s.o.l. He did say I could try my half a xanax if things got too bad and if I got too dry for sex, then he'd prescribe me some estrogen cream.

Uh, doc, what's the diff in estrogen cream and taking estrogen by mouth????

So I don't know what I'll do about the hormone. It's possible that it isn't the hormone, but do I want to take it and run the risk of getting this mess again?

What to do?
I don't know.

Jamie Crockett

Jamie Crockett was arrested Monday, July 13 on sexual assault charges, 3 counts. On July 6 he assaulted a woman in Hattiesburg, used a stun gun and handcuffs to subdue her before the rape.
On Sunday, July 5th, he attacked a woman in Baton Rouge in a similar attack, and a 3rd attack on a student of Southeastern La. University on Friday, July 10?

I closed at 5, ran in, took a shower and went by the mom of the boy arrested on rape charges. She is devastated, of course. I felt odd going by considering the circumstances, since I haven't seen her in several years. I didn't want her to think I was just being nosy. But she came out of the house and when she saw it was me, she just ran and grabbed me and cried and cried. I cried right along with her.
Jamie is a huge part of our life. He and Robby have been friends for probably 20 some odd years, and N and I have known each other that long too. The boys have been in trouble together, been in trouble separately, stayed at each other's home, and I feel that I know Jamie about as good as I know Robby. Jamie always called Terry, Papa Smurf.

My heart just cries for those girls he raped, and my heart breaks for N. Jamie is her only child and she knows she has lost him for good now. Her husband, J, had open heart surgery last month and goes in Tuesday for vein surgery on Wednesday. He has a lot of blockage in his arteries and they have to try and reroute them. With all this stress, it's going to be rough.

I spent about an hour there with them, and when I left I told them to not hesitate to call me. I'd come sit with her, let her talk, let her cry, whatever. If Terry was home, I'd do what I could to be there for her. As much as I know Jamie did these things because of the proof the law has, there is still a part of me that cannot fathom what caused him to do such a thing. Never, in all the years I have known him, has he ever shown any sign of violence and most especially violence of a sexual nature. He was always so sweet and kind to Stacie. I just have to believe that something broke in him. It's so confusing to me.

With Garry, Stacie's ex, I always knew he was perverted and weird, but I thought he was adult oriented, not child oriented. Garry always made sexual remarks or turned innocent phrases into sexual meaning. Jamie was never like that. He was always polite, respectful, almost shy in many ways. He was funny, and thoughtful. Like Robby, he had an addiction problem, and like Robby has spent a fair amount of time incarcerated. Possibly something changed within during those prison stays, but it still blows my mind. Maybe it's because I know him and never had any idea that he could harbor such cruelity, or maybe something inside him did break.

But it's done. I asked N was there a chance he wasn't the guy they were looking for, and she says no. She says when they arrested him a few days or a week before this, on possession of marijuana, that the law saw the stun gun and the handcuffs in his truck--so it was him.The possession arrest took place in a small town called Florence, Ala. He paid his bond and they released him.

Mother situation

Yesterday Judy asked Beth why she wasn't going home. Beth sidestepped the reason. This morning Judy called Brenda and Brenda told her why. Judy then accused Brenda of having a gambling problem too. Brenda said, "No, Judy, I don't go as often as you do, I use my own money and when I don't have the money I don't go nor do I spend as much money as you do. And I certainly don't spend someone else's money."

Judy then called mother and wanted to know why they were going behind her back to do this. She also told mother that she (mother) would be sorry for doing this.

They met with the lawyer and he has already spoke with Mother. He went to the office at the nursing home to verify that mother was in her right mind and could make these decisions. He also mentioned that he thought it would be reasonable to go after Judy to pay mother back. Terry didn't know if mother would agree to this, but as of about 10 minutes ago, the lawyer had returned to Mother's room and Terry, Beth, Mother and the lawyer were discussing the problem and what could be done to fix it.

Shandi and mother

Well, I think I wrote in here about my meeting with the superintendent of Education of our District. I wrote him a few days later restateing what I heard him say when he phoned me with 'his' plans for Shandi and himself. I've not heard from that letter.

I've also mentioned, I think, that before writing the newspaper and the Supt. of Ed., I had contacted the Protection and Advocacy Services for our state. They got a signed release form from Stacie, then sent some other form to her to sign indicating they had looked over her situation and had decided to take her case. I had sent some pertinent information when we returned the forms.

On July 9, (yesterday) Stacie received the following letter from Sue Cannimore, Senior Advocate/Education Team Co-Leader

Disability Rights Mississippi (which is a part of Protection and Advocacy Services)

It was a copy of an email Sue had written to the Director of SPED in Tylertown, Cherry Smith. (The same Cherry Smith I have met with at least 4 times, and pointed out to her Shandi's difficulties and my frustrations each time)The email was written on July 7, 2009.

It states:

Good morning, Cherry. I’m writing regarding Shandi Marie Rogers who attends Salem Elementary School in your District. Shandi has been in the Tier Process but has been removed due to the fact that she improved with the intervention provided. Because of the following information, I am requesting that you do not place Shandi back into the Tier Process, but begin to immediately evaluate her for special services.

Shandi’s second grade report card indicates A’s in reading, English and math, but it is noted that these were earned with “special assistance”. In addition, under Work Habits, it is noted that Shandi has an “S” in works independently, but on the first and third terms, it is indicated that those were earned “with one-on-one assistance”. Finally, under “special notices” it is indicated that Shandi is below grade level.

In addition, Dr. John Jolly in 2005, diagnosed Shandi with ADHD, Combined Type, ODD with conduct problems and aggressiveness, Adjustment Disorder, Unspecified, Social Skills Deficits and Mild Mental Retardation.

Dr. William Osborne in 2006 diagnosed her with ADHD, Combined Type, ODD, Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety and Depressed Mood, Bipolar Disorder and Social Skills deficits.

It seems quite apparent to me that this young child is in need of evaluation and that it should be done now, not a year or two down the road when lack of appropriate services has caused her to drop further and further behind and her mood becomes more and more depressed. If you are willing to do the evaluation, please let me know when it can be begun. If you are not willing to do it, please send justification for that.

I need your answer no later than 10/17/09. Thank you.


What comes of this is anybody's guess. But I sure feel validated that someone else sees the situation the same way I see it.

The 4th, 09

There is nothing like sitting quietly on the patio, the breeze cooling off the heat of the day, watching a child play in a huge box. The sounds of her giggles and her occasional ‘mama mia’ fill the air, as she bounces around inside her toy, rolling down the hill in it, jumping across the grass in it and living out her imagination as she finds all sorts of things to do within her own private little castle.

Such was the scene this evening as Shandi played in a box that the central heat unit was boxed in. Such fun she had after we had the hamburgers on cooking and had rested from our work at the nursery. Papa had taken a shower, then Ana took one. Shandi and I were still dirty and sweaty. She and I are swinging and Ana is sitting in papa’s lap. Such a peaceful scene, as we listen to the jingle jangle of the swing chain, the birds singing in the background, the frogs croaking asking for just a bit more rain and the crickets chirping. Can life get any better?

other people's money

June 26 was Beth’s weekend to go stay with mother. During her visit Mother mentioned that she had asked Judy for her bank statement several times, but as of yet Judy hadn’t produced it. Mother asked Beth to check and see if the statement had come in.

So Beth looked on the table and in the mail box, but no statement. She then noticed a couple of bags of garbage Judy hadn’t taken out. She opened one and found all the envelopes from the mail Judy had opened. She closed that bag, and opened the other one. The first thing she saw was mother’s bank statement shredded.

She went back to the nursing home and told mother the statement wasn’t in the mailbox or on the table. She didn’t have the heart to tell her she had found a bank statement shredded—yet there was a stack of them on the kitchen table unshredded.

On Tuesday, June 30, Beth called me and shared this info with me. We discussed what should be done. She then called Terry and Brenda and by Wednesday, today, they had decided they would all 3 go down and have mother give the bank permission to give them a copy of her missing bank statement.

They did this and in doing so discovered that Judy had spend close to 4000.00 during the month at the casinos according to the statement dated May 15-June 15. According to the bank records, another 2000.00 was unaccounted for also.

The told mother about this and showed her the bank statements. While she looks at the bank statement, Judy walks in the room. However, Judy doesn’t say a word. Mother decides that when she confronts Judy she wants Robert, Judy’s husband there also. She also is having the 3 go to the credit union tomorrow and check to see if the 30,000.00 she had cashed in from savings bonds had been deposited and also to deposit close to another 30,000.00 from an accident settlement she just got. They are also going to have Judy’s name removed from any account dealing with money and have the other 3 kid’s name put on it. Mother will call the bank and have her atm card number changed as well as call her credit card company and have that number changed because Judy has possession of both of those.

But, Judy bowls on Wednesday nite and she informed them she had to bowl tomorrow for someone else. She also goes to the casino after bowling, and Terry and his other two sisters believe the bowling for someone else is an excuse to not come see mother tomorrow. So whether or not they all confront her or not remains to be seen. If Judy doesn’t show her face at the home, confrontation isn’t possible.

Lord what a mess. Mother trusted Judy. Judy was the one who lives nearest and mother believed she would handle her money properly. Yet that isn’t how addiction works and mother simply doesn’t understand addiction.

Friends and snakes

I'm sitting down taking a break and heard a car drive up. I watch to see if the 'customer' will walk in and tell me what she wants or if she's one of those who just starts looking around.

I see a lady start walking toward the front door and as she enters where I can see well, I recognize her. It's a dear friend whom I've not heard from in about 10 years. I'd try to call her, she wouldn't be home or wouldn't answer the phone. She has lots of mental issues-depression, anxiety, etc, so I figure she's off in one of her 'places'. Al-anon taught me to not take these things personal.

Anyway......I jumped up and met her half way. We hugged, sat down and began catching up. Hours passed, with the only breaks being me getting up to wait on customers. Finally I say to her--hon, come on and follow me; I have to pee. So down through the greenhouse, out the door and toward the bathroom we go.

Now--when we built that bathroom, we built it big enough for storage too. I've told ya'll about the shelves and the old freezer in there so you know kinda how it is.

Well, I get to the door and do my normal checking it out before I step in and
Yep......I stepped back and said......Ahh, Jen, I don't think we want to use this potty. We'll go to the house. Lying across my toilet, my toilet mind you is a chicken snake. Well, he/she can have that toilet.

About that time my eyes turned to the freezer and yep......there lay another one on it curled here and there among the pots setting on top of the freezer. Shit. Not 1 but 2 snakes.

After we had gone to the house and peed, I came back to the nursery, got my camera and took off back there again. I got a shot of the one on the freezer, but the one on the toilet had already gone. Jen said he was crawling off as we turned to go to the house.

Then, this afternoon around 5, a guy I went to school with came over to buy some plants. I had not seen him since we finished high school. He's a year or two younger than me, in bad health and has to weigh over 300 pounds. The passenger door was open while his friend bought his flowers for him; so I sat on the floor of the truck and we talked like there had never been 30 some odd years since we'd last seen each other. That just blew my mind because most of the people I run into from high school days are distant, we don't have anything to talk about and it's uncomfortable. Not so with Ottis.

And.......We finished up a whole section of the roof this evening; part of the worst section too.

And......Robby has a few days off work and is coming Saturday to help Terry work on the roof, IF nothing happens between now and then.

And....Stacie has been such help this week, coming in and helping pull some supper together while I helped Terry on the roof; plus the main store manager at WM told her today that she needed to start putting in for different departments in order to learn the departments so she could move on up. He told her he wanted to help her advance.

And.....for some reason I haven't slept worth a toot all week. I think I'm hyper from lack of proper rest.