Guard lizard

This afternoon around 2, Shan came into the nursery for a sandwich. As I made her a PB&J, she informed me that she WAS going to watch tv in my bed, since she couldn't get the TV in the living room to work right.
But, she goes on to tell me, I wanted some peanuts to eat while I watch tv....her papa keeps a can of roasted peanuts by the bed on his side table.

Well, hon, I asked her....you know you can have a peanut.

But....momo, then I saw the lizard on the can of peanuts. He was just laying there looking at me. So --she says, holding her hands up to her mouth and her eyes getting wider and wider--I just backed right out of there without a peanut or watching tv.

Oh ...so you found papa's guard lizard?

Papa's what? she asked.

Papa's guard lizard. It's there to guard his can of peanuts.

Well, he needs to get rid of it, momo. It scared me half to death.

Visitation

Sunday, December 28, 2008
I guess one of the most frustrating things concerning this visitation business is the fact that Roy acts as though having his kids is the most important thing to him, until he gets them.
From Wed. Dec. 24-Fri. Dec 26, he did nothing but aggravate the hell out of Stacie and so, by association myself concerning getting the girls for the weekend. When the agreement was finally made, he couldn’t come get them on Friday due to needing to pick up his step son. So he picks them up at 10:20 on Saturday.
He brings them home at 11:00 on Sunday. Just a hair over 24 hours he had them.
Seems as though his wife packed up her two boys and spent the night with a friend while the girls were there. Seems as though this was a bit more than Roy bargained for, as he told Ana he might have to bring them home on Sat. nite, but then changed his mind.
Now, 48 hours, give or take, of aggravation for 24 hours of visitation just doesn’t compute in by book.

visitation saga

Visitation Saga
I have spent the better part of the evening on the phone with Roy..the girl's father.
We got home from town around 2:30 and by 4:00 he was texting about getting them. Finally he called and insisted on talking with Ana, who was begging to not have to talk with him; but Stacie handed her the phone anyway.

He asked her why she didn't want to come. She told him it was the snake. Then he said some more stuff, and she started crying. She kept repeating that the snake scared her when Johnny took it out of the cage and tried to put it on her. I couldn't hear all the conversation from his end, of course, but he gave her until 6 this evening to decide if she would come for the weekend or not.

Then he gets on the phone with Stacie and starts accusing her of bringing up all these excuses for the girls to not go. She calmly told him it wasn't her; she wanted them to spend time with him. It was the girls themselves who didn't enjoy going because of the snake and various other things that went on down there.

Finally, Roy got to yelling so Stacie hung up.

In the meantime Ana and Shandi tell us that daddy and the boys walk around in their boxer shorts all the time, with no pants on over them.

Then the phone rings again and I answer it. He wants to ask my opinion, tells me he's tried talking nicely to Stacie but she keeps hanging up. I reminded him of the message on the answering machine filled with the f word. He claimed she made him so mad he lost his temper.

I asked him about the boxer shorts, and asked if he didn't think it would be more appropriate to cover themselves in the presence of young girls. He said they had always done that, in fact, his wife only wore a panties and a t-shirt in the house. I said it's fine for ya'll, if that's what you want to do, but men should be decent in front of girls.

We talked about the snake, the bugs, the cussing...everything. He kept saying it was Stacie who was pulling these excuses out of the air, and I refuted that each time. He promised me that Johnny would not tease the girls with the snake and they would put clothes on over their boxers if the girls would agree to come. I said I'd talk to them.

So, off the phone and I talk with the girls who agree to go for the weekend. So I call him back to let him, he says well, he can't come get them tonight, he has to pick up Johnny and it would be too late. He will call in the morning and let me know when he will come get them.

Ok....so for 3 days we've been harrassed over this issue and now you are stalling? Gee Roy, I thought you were on your way up here prepared to snatch them and run like hell.

30 minutes later he calls back. stacie answers and I hear her saying.....roy, it's the girls who complain, not me. Then she says, No Roy, you come get them and bring them back Sunday evening. I can't come get them, I have to work. Then he starts yelling about he can't make all those trips up here...a whole distance of maybe 60 miles round trip..so Stacie hangs up.

Another 15 minutes pass and the phone rings again. I answer it. He starts all over again, wanting everyone to be happy, talking about the snake, the boxers, etc. I tell him that we've discussed all this, we cannot solve it until the girls spend the weekend and it is proven to them that they won't be teased by the snake.

Then he tells me that his wife wants to pack up and take her boys away for the weekend so they won't be accused of things while the girls are there. Ok Roy....so what do you want me to do about this? What is the purpose of that? Are you trying to make us feel guilty? It ain't happening. You and Michelle do whatever you feel is right for you. I just don't want the girls harassed with a snake and I'd prefer you cover your undies in their presence.

Finally, he shut up and got off the phone. The girls and Stacie have gone home and I pray that phone doesn't ring again. If it's him, I refuse to answer it.

I did tell him that maybe going to court was the best thing he could do, because then both sides could have their say in front of a judge and the judge could speak to both parties and maybe they would listen.

Anywho--I'm sick and tired of drama tonight. This isn't my idea of Christmas holidays.

ON the up side, the girls had a ball shopping today....they have bling bling of all sorts--sparkly earrings, dangling necklaces, pooches in purses, a diva dog, new clothes to go with the new ones I got them for Christmas. They are happy campers in that department.

A letter to the girl's counselor

Dear Sylvia,

The girl's dad, Roy, texted Stacie yesterday and demanded that the girls come spend the the night with him when he gets home from work--otherwise he would take her back to court. He then called the house phone and left 2 messages....both of which she plans to record once we get a tape recorder that works...which we will do tomorrow.

One message says that he won't pay 700.00 child support and not have his kids on the weekend. The other one uses the 'f' word a lot. The girls haven't spent the night with him in several months. He has only asked for them 1 weekend back in September, which Stacie told him they already had plans. Ana had a birthday party to attend...hers...which we had already made plans for prior to her dad calling.

Both girls say they don't want to spend the night with dad because of the python his step sons have, because they only eat fast food and cereal, and dad and his wife are seldom around. They are either shut up in the bedroom or off shopping or visiting friends and the girls are left with the two boys, ages 14 and 8 or 10, I don't remember; and an elderly grandma who stays in the bed and argues with daddy constantly when she gets does up.

The divorce papers state day visitation, no overnights. Later on, during all the youth court appearances we made when I would have temp custody of them, there was a new ruling stating that Roy had to have supervised visitation with them because at the time he was not married, and he didn't have a stable home for them to visit in. These visits were to be held at the greenhouses in mine and Terry's presence. I know they are back in Stacie's custody, so don't have a clue if that ruling is still binding--it came from DHS/Children's division.

What I need to know and figure that hopefully you could ask Conrad (lawyer and youth court judge) or arrange for me and/or Stacie to speak with him concerning our legal rights concerning all this before I spout off something to dear dad and am wrong.
As I said earlier, both girls don't want to spend the night with dad. They love their dad, but I know Ana is scared of him because she has told me so.

What upsets Stacie and the girls is to come home and Stacie turn on the answering machine and hear all these threats filled with curse words from their dad to their mom. He pulls this every so often and has even pulled it on me at which time I told him to go ahead and make my day. I'd love nothing better than to face off with him in a courtroom with a judge. But Stacie has deep seated fears that some way, some how, Roy will manage to take the girls from her, either by some fluke or because her house isn't spic and span clean.

I worry, because the girls are doing well, they don't need all this upset in their life, so I just need to know what legal options we have. I really hate to bother you with this right here at Christmas.

Also, while I'm writing, we need to seriously take a close look at Shandi. I don't know if the child is depressed, or if her kidney situation is truly causing her to feel unwell. After doing the VGUG and renal test, the doc found an abnormality and is referring her to the specialist in Jackson. We haven't heard from them to set up an appointment yet. She often has crying spells, and always, almost daily by evening complains of simply feeling bad. As I was telling you at our last session, even Dr. Charles noted that Shandi was not like herself on our last visit to him.

We do have a letter from the school informing us they are observing Shandi in Tier 11 as a child in danger of failing and if necessary will move her to Tier 111 (yet again) and write her up an IEP. I'll bring a copy of that when we come for our session on the 2nd.

Chrstmas memories

A cold, cold day--one in which you just don't want to brave the elements considering the work we do. We made it to the nursery by 9, where I took care of a bank deposit and some phone calls while Terry gathered and burned some boxes and other trash.

Then the girls and I headed to town to make the deposit. I had been given 10.00 by one of my Sunday School members as a gift, and I planned to give it to the girls so they could buy a few little trinkets for their mom and popo. I'm trying to teach them that it isn't the dollar amount of the gift, but the thought that counts.

So, after dropping the deposit off, we head to the first of 3 Dollar Stores in town. The girls found a birthday glass bear with a birthstone in for their mom and a votive candle cup with a cross on it. I talked them into getting popo a pack of socks as he can always use those. Of course Ana found me a beautiful faux porcelean (how do you spell that?) egg which opens up to hold trinkets.

Then Ana found a set of pocket pups...little tiny dogs with a dog house. Shandi wanted one but there wasn't another one to be found. So we head off to the 2nd dollar store.....but still no pocket pups to be found. However, Shan found a Barbie doll she wanted, which was more than the pups cost for her sis, but these girls don't count the dollar amount--they count how BAD do you want it, which is truly the right way of looking at things. So here we go with Shandi hugging the Barbie doll, to look at pillows. Terry desperately needed a new second pillow and so did Shandi. I found 2 satin covered ones, just the size and fluffliness they like for 5.00, so grabbed them. Then Ana spotted a long, velvety pillow that she wanted last year at Christmas; had asked her dad to get it for her, but he didn't. So I got that.

As we leave heading home, Ana says: Oh wow, finally, I got just exactly what I wanted, even though it took a whole year. In fact I got two things I really, really wanted....the pillow and the pocket pets.
Shandi says: So did I. I love this Barbie doll.

How simple does it get?

So this brings up the topic of getting what we want. I share with them just how much I would love to be able to buy them Wii's, DS Nintendo's, digi camera's, etc, etc; and the fact that we don't has nothing to do with our love for them, but the amount of dollars to spare we have.

They both say they know this.
Then I ask them....what would you rather have? I family that loves you, treats you well, does what's right by you and fewer expensive toys
or
a family that is always busy working, stressed out over bills, yelling and fussing but who buys you whatever you want just to get you to be happy.

They both say--The family that loves us and treats us right....cause that's what we have.

We talk about how having the newest latest device doesn't make us loveable people, doesn't make us less than or better than.

Later today, I called the bike place to order the sprocket for Shandi's bike given I had ran over it last week. There are no bikes shops close by, so I called the manufacturer of the bike. When I placed my order the guy asked when I bought it, and I told him. Then he asked what happened and I told him I drove over it with the truck. He said he'd send this one out, but try to be more careful next time. I told him that I intended to pay for them, but he said...no, it's ok. So her bike will be fixed free of charge. Thank you Lord.

Next we're sitting here in the warm house, just being lazy, I'm helping the girls put their clean sheets on the bed when Terry says he has to go to the nursery. He comes back shortly with a dozen red roses and a gift bag with a bear, chocolates and such, topped off with a balloon for Stacie. Whooo Hoooo!!!!!!! Won't this just make her day and cause her to step a bit lighter????

Another thing I'm so moved by today is that it has occurred to me that when we go to town, even at Christmas--the girls do not beg, plead, bug, worry or otherwise harrass me to buy everything they see they like. In fact, they don't do much of that at all. We look, they may say....oh, I like this. This is pretty, or wow--but it seems as though they have less wants than some kids their age.

Is this because they are happy, secure children, who are being taught that 'things' aren't the source of happiness? Is it simple training since I've never bought them something every time we went in a store?

How can one woman be so tremendously blessed? My life is so full of wonderful blessings.

God's Blessings

I don't often take the time to type out my blessings. I think them, I speak them, just don't write them, but today I feel a need to do so.

We got fruit trees Monday, including an extra 90 for another nursery. This nursery is being evicted, so have no where to house their trees, so we were going to have to pot them. Yet another nursery that does wholesale business with us called yesterday and wanted 46 of them. Yes!!!!! One blessing and 46 less trees to pot.

The weather has warmed up wonderfully for this job. We've been in short sleeves all day.

This morning Stacie was called and asked if she would take a greeter's position for a month or so while the greeter is out on maturity leave. This means Stacie will work Sat-Tues and be off Wed.-Friday each week. Even though the greeter job pays .50 less an hour, Stacie will continue to get her regular hourly wages. It also means she will be off an extra day at Christmas, so she can go with us to the coast to visit Mother.

We had ordered pots for our fruit trees. When the order came in instead of 5 bundles of 7 gallon pots, we had 3 bundles of 7 gallon pots and 2 bundles of 5 gallon pots and no time to get them exchanged. The truck only runs once a week and it is too far to just take off and drive; even though it's only a 2 hour drive one way, we needed to be potting.

Well, with the nursery buying 46 trees, and us cleaning up the ground cover area and having some dumping to do, we had enough pots for the fruit trees with 10 to spare. Oh and we also had to put the 20 pears in 10 gallon pots. They were supposed to be 3'-4' trees and they are 5'-6' trees. That saved another 20 pots but they sure were hard to handle.

Our Sunday School party is tomorrow night and Stacie has to work until 8. I called the mother of a friend of Ana's and asked if both girls could stay with her a few hours and Stacie come by and pick them up. She said yes, that would be fine. Now I don't have to take the girls to the party with me, which will be all adults.

We have all the fruit trees potted and only have 75 more flowering trees to plant. They will go into 3 gallon size pots, which are much easier to handle than the 7 gallon pots.

God is so wonderfully good to us and I just wanted to thank Him for His many blessings.

Shandi

Monday, Shandi had to go the hospital in McComb for some kidney tests. Although everything appeared ok it wasn't. The doctor's office called today and said there were some abnormalities and they were referring her to the specialist in Jackson.

Bless her heart, she did the tests like a trooper, one of which involves inserting a catheter and running the dye through it while they watch it do it's thing.
She also had the sonogram done on her urinary parts and Stacie said it was almost funny when they told her to pee....Shandi asks, Where? The nurse said.....right there on the bed.
Said Shandi looked at her like she was nutz!!!!!!!!!

But please keep the baby in your prayers.
For those who don't know, Shandi was diagnosed with kidney reflux as a baby. She stayed on low strength antibiotics for several years. Then the docs did a balloon procedure which stopped the urine from backing up into bladder. This had kept her from having urinary tract infection until this year....so the tests were ordered to check things out.

Shandi and the urinary tests

Well, Shandi had to go for a renal test and a VCUG test today to determine if the balloon procedure they did several years ago is still in place. She had kidney reflux/deflux and this procedure was done, which involved inserting a type of material that form a balloon to stop the leakage back into her bladder.

She used to scream bloody murder when they did the VCUG test because it not only involved inserting the catheter into her but also this huge exray machine coming down toward her appearing, to her, I'm sure, as though it would crush her.

I prepared her by explaining exactly what would be done to her, about how it would feel and told her that if she could simply not fight them it would hurt less and go much quicker.

Stacie took the day off to take her, since Terry is up in Tennessee and Alabama picking up trees. Shandi did wonderful, not crying or fighting. The balloon is still in place, so all is well there. This means that the occasional urinary track infections she has are not due to the balloon collasping.

She's grown so much. From being able to go to the dentist and march in there all alone to get her teeth worked on, to having these tests done. I can't help but wonder if her improvement in this area is not due in part to the removal of the wicked step father who forced her to watch him have her older sister perform oral sex on him. I will always believe that what he subjected that child to played a huge part in her fears of having certain medical procedures done to her. It makes me very angry just to think of all that baby carries around in her mind, trying to deal with it and unable to verbalize the pain she is in.

But I am very grateful that he is no longer in their life, he is locked away in prison. She is growing and changing and becoming quite an accomplished little girl. Oh my heart swells with pride thinking about the progress she has made.

When it rains it snows

Well good folks. She's Baaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally.

It snowed and then it snowed some more. We woke up Thursday morning to snow. We were not prepared for the amount we got. By 11 we were without power. We spent a good portion of the day trying to keep the snow off the shade cloth on the fern house. Snow will slide off the plastic that covers the houses; but we still had shade cloth on the fern house and snow glues to it. We were afraid the snow would collaspe the roof, but thankfully, the good Lord sent sun and a slight warming so the snow began to melt by mid afternoon.
At 1:22 power was restored less than 3 miles south of us and less than 2 miles north of us. Still we continued on in the dark.
Friday I called and spoke to a service rep at the power company. She said out of 17,000 without power, they only had 5000 more to go...and we'd have power by night.

So, we waited, we went to counseling with the girls. We went to choir practice with the girls, at which time I ran over Shandi's bike backing out of the drive. She had parked it behind the truck. Came home around 8 PM, still no power. While I was gone, Terry's friend who lives about a mile from us on another road called and said they got power restored around 4:30. But not us. So we go to bed.

Saturday, this morning, we wake up and still no electric. Around 10:30 a power truck drove by looking for the source of our outage. In less than 10 minutes the big trucks come by and within another 10 minutes we had power. It took them all of 230 minutes, maybe to find the problem and restore our power--something they could have done on Thursday while they were close, or even Friday while they were even closer.

So--now it's time to water, thankfully no pipes had frozen and we had no water leaks. We do however have a freezer that isn't reaching a safe temp yet. I also had to clean up some leakage in the side by side, but otherwise, everything was safe and sound. Until we go to take a shower and the hot water heater had gone out. Most times it takes about 30 minutes to get it to light, but this time God was gracious and it lit on the first strike.

I told hubby, when it rains it snows, and when it snows it pours.
love,
elf