In my life I've spent a good amount of time sitting on the pity pot. I've whined, cried, felt sorry for myself, gotten frustrated, become angry, railed against the world. Naturally, none of these things solved my problems. These actions and behaviors only made me a more angry and bitter. After beginning my journey into al-anon, I am learning to Let Go and Let God, to trust that things are how they should be, to live my life and let others live theirs, to know completely that there is a reason for everything that comes into my life--AND--the quicker I accept that, the quicker I learn something new, grow some more and become more of the person God intends me to be.
Every day of my life used to be a crisis and I was a drama queen in the midst of that crisis. I have learned that handing that crisis over to God, doing what I can about the situation and letting the rest go gains me more confidence, more self esteem, more respect and should I desire it, more attention than all the drama I can create with my poor me, why is this happening to me, how will I make it through's that I was prone to engage in before recovery.
This song really speaks to me when I think of how I used to be and when I encounter those people that every moment of every day is a crisis.
*disclaimer, if I tagged you, it's only because I knew you'd understand and might enjoy reading what I wrote, not because I thought that you, specifically, were engaging in the behaviors I used to engage in.*
Darryl Worley, Wynn Varble, Phil O’Donnell )
Got a call last night from an old friend’s wife
Said I hate to bother you
Johnny Ray fell off the wagon
He’s been gone all afternoon
I know my buddy so I drove to Skully’s
And found him at the bar
I say hey man, what’s going on
He said I don’t know where to start
Sarah’s old car’s about to fall apart
And the washer quit last week
We had to put momma in the nursing home
And the baby’s cutting teeth
I didn’t get much work this week
And I got bills to pay
I said I know this ain’t what you wanna hear
But it’s what I’m gonna say
(Chorus)
Sounds like life to me it ain’t no fantasy
It’s just a common case of everyday reality
Man I know it’s tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy
It sounds like life to me
Well his face turned red and he shook his head
He said you don’t understand
Three kids and a wife depend on me
And I’m just one man
To top it off I just found out
That Sarah’s 2 months late
I said hey bartender set us up a round
We need to celebrate
(Chorus)
Sounds like life to me plain old destiny
Yeah the only thing for certain is uncertainty
You gotta hold on tight just enjoy the ride
Get used to all this unpredictability
Sounds like life
Man I know its tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy
Sounds like life to me
Sounds like life
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Robby
Paula, Robby's gf called crying. They had borrowed a tv that was my former neighbors, who is now dead. She wanted to know if she could keep it because Robby was leaving and was going to take the tv. I said, yes you can keep the tv, Robby has no to haul it, nowhere to put it. Besides, where is he going?
She thought he was going to come to Bob's, my friend who lives less than 2 miles from me. I said, NO, not if I can help it. After we got off the phone, I thought about calling Robby but then thought, no, don't create a crisis, but don't prevent one either. Within 5 minutes Bob called me. He saw where Robby had left a message and wondered if I knew what it was about. I told him.
*here I shout halleujah* Bob says, "Well I already have a house guest, so I don't have room for him"
Thank you HP, Thank you!!!
Now, where I am is here--I don't worry what will happen to him because he's a male and can survive better than a female. I also know that Robby throws these fits about once a month and most of the time he gets over them. Hopefully, or not, he won't end up in jail from disturbing the peace. If he leaves, I predict/expect that it won't be long before he is on the hard drugs, if he hasn't already started since he's showing his behind.
Where I falter is here--should Robby come out, face to face and ask if he could stay, and spin me a yarn a mile and half long, I'd have a hard time saying no. That is where I HAVE to project, I have to have in my mind a game plan should this event take place. I have to have formulated in my mind what I will say, how I will say it and already be prepared for the fall out from my decision. Caught off guard, I don't do well. I know this about myself and try my best to use the "let me think about it" ploy to gain me some time; but sometimes I forget.
She thought he was going to come to Bob's, my friend who lives less than 2 miles from me. I said, NO, not if I can help it. After we got off the phone, I thought about calling Robby but then thought, no, don't create a crisis, but don't prevent one either. Within 5 minutes Bob called me. He saw where Robby had left a message and wondered if I knew what it was about. I told him.
*here I shout halleujah* Bob says, "Well I already have a house guest, so I don't have room for him"
Thank you HP, Thank you!!!
Now, where I am is here--I don't worry what will happen to him because he's a male and can survive better than a female. I also know that Robby throws these fits about once a month and most of the time he gets over them. Hopefully, or not, he won't end up in jail from disturbing the peace. If he leaves, I predict/expect that it won't be long before he is on the hard drugs, if he hasn't already started since he's showing his behind.
Where I falter is here--should Robby come out, face to face and ask if he could stay, and spin me a yarn a mile and half long, I'd have a hard time saying no. That is where I HAVE to project, I have to have in my mind a game plan should this event take place. I have to have formulated in my mind what I will say, how I will say it and already be prepared for the fall out from my decision. Caught off guard, I don't do well. I know this about myself and try my best to use the "let me think about it" ploy to gain me some time; but sometimes I forget.
Prayer Meeting
We are without a pastor right now and those of us willing to do so, are taking turns bringing a short devotion for prayer meeting.
Tonight was my turn and this is what I shared:
Several years ago, before my g’ma admitted herself into the nursing home, she decided one day that she needed to come live with us.
Fine.
What wasn’t fine was all the stuff she needed to bring. We had a spare room which we fixed up for her a bedroom. But she wanted her tv, her dishes, her recliner, her refrigerator and various other cherished and to her, much needed items.
So, we took the room I had used to paint my woodwork in, moved all our den furniture out there and set her up her own living room, complete with a dining table in it. It totally changed the way we were used to looking at our home.
While g’ma’s stuff was familiar to us, it wasn’t familiar in the setting of our own home. Our furniture was crammed into a room not nearly big enough for it and necessitated our moving some of my craft items out to the shed.
I really didn’t mind doing all this, I did mind undoing a month later when she decided to move back home, where she lived alone for another year before entering the nursing home.
Now during the month gma stayed with us, the rooms inside my home told anyone who came to visit a lot about us. It told them that we loved and respected g’ma enough to move as many of her personal items into our home as we could, so she could be comfortable and feel more at home. It told people that we valued family far more than we valued the ‘proper’ look of a room.
So the rooms inside our home told a lot about the way we lived our life.
But what do our inner rooms tell us about the way we live our lives?
Galatians 5:22, 23 says:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith
V.23 Meekness, temperance, against such there is no law.
Let’s take love—do we have love in our heart for everyone, whether they are a family member, friend or foe? Do we truly love them the way God loves them—desiring that come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ; or do we compartmentalize our love?
It’s usually easy to love our spouse, our children, our grandchildren, parents and grandparents. *note I said usually*
But what about those people who simply rub us the wrong way?
What about those we know are living a life of sin?
Do we love them? Or do we judge them, gossip about them, shun them?
Let’s look at joy. Are we always filled with joy, or just when things are going our way. It’s easy to be joyful when life is good, the bills are paid, there’s extra money and all looks good. It’s easy to be joyful when the kids are healthy, and everything is going fine.
But that joy is dependant upon our circumstances, our surroundings. As Christians, we are to be filled with joy, the Joy of the Lord, and we are to be joyful regardless of what is going on in our life because *greater than He that is in you than He that is in the world.
The same goes for peace—if we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, then regardless of what happens in our life, we will have the peace that passes all understanding. Do you have inner peace, regardless of what is happening in your world? Do you believe the promises of God? Do you claim those promises? Are do you go about worrying and fretting because you have problems and trials?
Longsuffering-or patience. Oh this is one I often struggle with. I never have been the most patient person in the world-I don’t like to wait on something, I don’t like to be around a lot of noise or arguing and as a mother could be very impatient with my children. I often find myself, even today, impatient with people who simply don’t seem to want to do what is needed to fix the problems in their life.
And I imagine there are many like that—yet when we are in public-be it church, town, a social gathering, where ever—we can pretend to be patient. Never would we dream of losing our cool in public—but what happens when we get home?
How many of you have spent the better part of a church service dealing with a wiggling, noisy child. Patiently you corrected that child, you even took the child out and maybe spanked him or her, but always in a low voice and with awesome control.
But get in the car and on the way home and let that child do one little thing that ‘breaks that thin thread you’ve been hanging on by for the past hour’ and what happens?
What about gentleness? Goodness?
It’s so easy to be gentle in a public setting with acquaintances and strangers, but are we always gentle with our family? Or do we often respond to them in sharp tones, say sarcastic things to them, ignore them even?
And there is faith—how easy it is to spout faith to a hurting friend; how easy it is to portray a life of faith in front of others when you are in that faith room of yourself. Do you remain in that faith room when you are home alone; or does fear, worry and heartache burden you down and cause you to lose sleep, doubt not only yourself, but God?
And then there is meekness—or humility. Oh, so many of us only have a tiny room in ourselves for meekness. NO, we have to be right, we have to be in control, we have to be top dog in whatever we’re doing. Our name best be mentioned in public for all the good deeds we’ve done.
Lastly, what about temperance. Temperance is actually moderation, be it in reference to what we say, what we do, or what we consume.
Proverbs 16:32 says He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit than he taketh a city.
So how moderate are we in what we say?
What we do?
What we eat or drink?
Is our room of love large enough to include everyone?
Does our joy and peace room give off a steady light for all to see?
How large is our room of patience and faith?
Do we have a room of gentleness, goodness, meekness and temperance which we only visit when we’re in public?
What do the rooms inside our homes and ourselves have to tell us about the way we live our lives?
Tonight was my turn and this is what I shared:
Several years ago, before my g’ma admitted herself into the nursing home, she decided one day that she needed to come live with us.
Fine.
What wasn’t fine was all the stuff she needed to bring. We had a spare room which we fixed up for her a bedroom. But she wanted her tv, her dishes, her recliner, her refrigerator and various other cherished and to her, much needed items.
So, we took the room I had used to paint my woodwork in, moved all our den furniture out there and set her up her own living room, complete with a dining table in it. It totally changed the way we were used to looking at our home.
While g’ma’s stuff was familiar to us, it wasn’t familiar in the setting of our own home. Our furniture was crammed into a room not nearly big enough for it and necessitated our moving some of my craft items out to the shed.
I really didn’t mind doing all this, I did mind undoing a month later when she decided to move back home, where she lived alone for another year before entering the nursing home.
Now during the month gma stayed with us, the rooms inside my home told anyone who came to visit a lot about us. It told them that we loved and respected g’ma enough to move as many of her personal items into our home as we could, so she could be comfortable and feel more at home. It told people that we valued family far more than we valued the ‘proper’ look of a room.
So the rooms inside our home told a lot about the way we lived our life.
But what do our inner rooms tell us about the way we live our lives?
Galatians 5:22, 23 says:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith
V.23 Meekness, temperance, against such there is no law.
Let’s take love—do we have love in our heart for everyone, whether they are a family member, friend or foe? Do we truly love them the way God loves them—desiring that come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ; or do we compartmentalize our love?
It’s usually easy to love our spouse, our children, our grandchildren, parents and grandparents. *note I said usually*
But what about those people who simply rub us the wrong way?
What about those we know are living a life of sin?
Do we love them? Or do we judge them, gossip about them, shun them?
Let’s look at joy. Are we always filled with joy, or just when things are going our way. It’s easy to be joyful when life is good, the bills are paid, there’s extra money and all looks good. It’s easy to be joyful when the kids are healthy, and everything is going fine.
But that joy is dependant upon our circumstances, our surroundings. As Christians, we are to be filled with joy, the Joy of the Lord, and we are to be joyful regardless of what is going on in our life because *greater than He that is in you than He that is in the world.
The same goes for peace—if we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, then regardless of what happens in our life, we will have the peace that passes all understanding. Do you have inner peace, regardless of what is happening in your world? Do you believe the promises of God? Do you claim those promises? Are do you go about worrying and fretting because you have problems and trials?
Longsuffering-or patience. Oh this is one I often struggle with. I never have been the most patient person in the world-I don’t like to wait on something, I don’t like to be around a lot of noise or arguing and as a mother could be very impatient with my children. I often find myself, even today, impatient with people who simply don’t seem to want to do what is needed to fix the problems in their life.
And I imagine there are many like that—yet when we are in public-be it church, town, a social gathering, where ever—we can pretend to be patient. Never would we dream of losing our cool in public—but what happens when we get home?
How many of you have spent the better part of a church service dealing with a wiggling, noisy child. Patiently you corrected that child, you even took the child out and maybe spanked him or her, but always in a low voice and with awesome control.
But get in the car and on the way home and let that child do one little thing that ‘breaks that thin thread you’ve been hanging on by for the past hour’ and what happens?
What about gentleness? Goodness?
It’s so easy to be gentle in a public setting with acquaintances and strangers, but are we always gentle with our family? Or do we often respond to them in sharp tones, say sarcastic things to them, ignore them even?
And there is faith—how easy it is to spout faith to a hurting friend; how easy it is to portray a life of faith in front of others when you are in that faith room of yourself. Do you remain in that faith room when you are home alone; or does fear, worry and heartache burden you down and cause you to lose sleep, doubt not only yourself, but God?
And then there is meekness—or humility. Oh, so many of us only have a tiny room in ourselves for meekness. NO, we have to be right, we have to be in control, we have to be top dog in whatever we’re doing. Our name best be mentioned in public for all the good deeds we’ve done.
Lastly, what about temperance. Temperance is actually moderation, be it in reference to what we say, what we do, or what we consume.
Proverbs 16:32 says He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit than he taketh a city.
So how moderate are we in what we say?
What we do?
What we eat or drink?
Is our room of love large enough to include everyone?
Does our joy and peace room give off a steady light for all to see?
How large is our room of patience and faith?
Do we have a room of gentleness, goodness, meekness and temperance which we only visit when we’re in public?
What do the rooms inside our homes and ourselves have to tell us about the way we live our lives?
Monday, July 27, 2009
Yeast Infections
I told the doc about my 2 rounds of Monistat and still itching. He looks and says I must have had enough yeast to start a bakery, cause I still got yeast.
Must be bad--he gave me 10 Diflucan to take 1 twice daily for 5 days. A friend said she had never heard of taking it that many days, nor twice a day. I told her I was a stubborn soul.
And just to be on the safe side, he took a culture to see if it grows anything different.
Who knows--there may be the next world epidemic growing up in the dark recesses of that place. *ROFLMAO
Seriously though, he said he would call if my culture grew anything. We discussed the benefits of eating yogurt, possibly stop taking my hormone--*yikes*
So I ask him what about the emotional side effects of NO hormone. I assured him that I do talk to myself about this being menopause, blah, blah, blah--but when you live with Terry Reid, run a business and have Stacie and 2 grands around all the time...well, sometimes you just want to pinch a head a two.
He laughed and said that was more than just hormones!!!!!
He mentioned if the emotional aspect of no hormones got to me too bad, he'd put me on an anti-depressant.
But doc, we've already proven that I can't take those; so I guess I'm just s.o.l. He did say I could try my half a xanax if things got too bad and if I got too dry for sex, then he'd prescribe me some estrogen cream.
Uh, doc, what's the diff in estrogen cream and taking estrogen by mouth????
So I don't know what I'll do about the hormone. It's possible that it isn't the hormone, but do I want to take it and run the risk of getting this mess again?
What to do?
I don't know.
Must be bad--he gave me 10 Diflucan to take 1 twice daily for 5 days. A friend said she had never heard of taking it that many days, nor twice a day. I told her I was a stubborn soul.
And just to be on the safe side, he took a culture to see if it grows anything different.
Who knows--there may be the next world epidemic growing up in the dark recesses of that place. *ROFLMAO
Seriously though, he said he would call if my culture grew anything. We discussed the benefits of eating yogurt, possibly stop taking my hormone--*yikes*
So I ask him what about the emotional side effects of NO hormone. I assured him that I do talk to myself about this being menopause, blah, blah, blah--but when you live with Terry Reid, run a business and have Stacie and 2 grands around all the time...well, sometimes you just want to pinch a head a two.
He laughed and said that was more than just hormones!!!!!
He mentioned if the emotional aspect of no hormones got to me too bad, he'd put me on an anti-depressant.
But doc, we've already proven that I can't take those; so I guess I'm just s.o.l. He did say I could try my half a xanax if things got too bad and if I got too dry for sex, then he'd prescribe me some estrogen cream.
Uh, doc, what's the diff in estrogen cream and taking estrogen by mouth????
So I don't know what I'll do about the hormone. It's possible that it isn't the hormone, but do I want to take it and run the risk of getting this mess again?
What to do?
I don't know.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Jamie Crockett
Jamie Crockett was arrested Monday, July 13 on sexual assault charges, 3 counts. On July 6 he assaulted a woman in Hattiesburg, used a stun gun and handcuffs to subdue her before the rape.
On Sunday, July 5th, he attacked a woman in Baton Rouge in a similar attack, and a 3rd attack on a student of Southeastern La. University on Friday, July 10?
I closed at 5, ran in, took a shower and went by the mom of the boy arrested on rape charges. She is devastated, of course. I felt odd going by considering the circumstances, since I haven't seen her in several years. I didn't want her to think I was just being nosy. But she came out of the house and when she saw it was me, she just ran and grabbed me and cried and cried. I cried right along with her.
Jamie is a huge part of our life. He and Robby have been friends for probably 20 some odd years, and N and I have known each other that long too. The boys have been in trouble together, been in trouble separately, stayed at each other's home, and I feel that I know Jamie about as good as I know Robby. Jamie always called Terry, Papa Smurf.
My heart just cries for those girls he raped, and my heart breaks for N. Jamie is her only child and she knows she has lost him for good now. Her husband, J, had open heart surgery last month and goes in Tuesday for vein surgery on Wednesday. He has a lot of blockage in his arteries and they have to try and reroute them. With all this stress, it's going to be rough.
I spent about an hour there with them, and when I left I told them to not hesitate to call me. I'd come sit with her, let her talk, let her cry, whatever. If Terry was home, I'd do what I could to be there for her. As much as I know Jamie did these things because of the proof the law has, there is still a part of me that cannot fathom what caused him to do such a thing. Never, in all the years I have known him, has he ever shown any sign of violence and most especially violence of a sexual nature. He was always so sweet and kind to Stacie. I just have to believe that something broke in him. It's so confusing to me.
With Garry, Stacie's ex, I always knew he was perverted and weird, but I thought he was adult oriented, not child oriented. Garry always made sexual remarks or turned innocent phrases into sexual meaning. Jamie was never like that. He was always polite, respectful, almost shy in many ways. He was funny, and thoughtful. Like Robby, he had an addiction problem, and like Robby has spent a fair amount of time incarcerated. Possibly something changed within during those prison stays, but it still blows my mind. Maybe it's because I know him and never had any idea that he could harbor such cruelity, or maybe something inside him did break.
But it's done. I asked N was there a chance he wasn't the guy they were looking for, and she says no. She says when they arrested him a few days or a week before this, on possession of marijuana, that the law saw the stun gun and the handcuffs in his truck--so it was him.The possession arrest took place in a small town called Florence, Ala. He paid his bond and they released him.
On Sunday, July 5th, he attacked a woman in Baton Rouge in a similar attack, and a 3rd attack on a student of Southeastern La. University on Friday, July 10?
I closed at 5, ran in, took a shower and went by the mom of the boy arrested on rape charges. She is devastated, of course. I felt odd going by considering the circumstances, since I haven't seen her in several years. I didn't want her to think I was just being nosy. But she came out of the house and when she saw it was me, she just ran and grabbed me and cried and cried. I cried right along with her.
Jamie is a huge part of our life. He and Robby have been friends for probably 20 some odd years, and N and I have known each other that long too. The boys have been in trouble together, been in trouble separately, stayed at each other's home, and I feel that I know Jamie about as good as I know Robby. Jamie always called Terry, Papa Smurf.
My heart just cries for those girls he raped, and my heart breaks for N. Jamie is her only child and she knows she has lost him for good now. Her husband, J, had open heart surgery last month and goes in Tuesday for vein surgery on Wednesday. He has a lot of blockage in his arteries and they have to try and reroute them. With all this stress, it's going to be rough.
I spent about an hour there with them, and when I left I told them to not hesitate to call me. I'd come sit with her, let her talk, let her cry, whatever. If Terry was home, I'd do what I could to be there for her. As much as I know Jamie did these things because of the proof the law has, there is still a part of me that cannot fathom what caused him to do such a thing. Never, in all the years I have known him, has he ever shown any sign of violence and most especially violence of a sexual nature. He was always so sweet and kind to Stacie. I just have to believe that something broke in him. It's so confusing to me.
With Garry, Stacie's ex, I always knew he was perverted and weird, but I thought he was adult oriented, not child oriented. Garry always made sexual remarks or turned innocent phrases into sexual meaning. Jamie was never like that. He was always polite, respectful, almost shy in many ways. He was funny, and thoughtful. Like Robby, he had an addiction problem, and like Robby has spent a fair amount of time incarcerated. Possibly something changed within during those prison stays, but it still blows my mind. Maybe it's because I know him and never had any idea that he could harbor such cruelity, or maybe something inside him did break.
But it's done. I asked N was there a chance he wasn't the guy they were looking for, and she says no. She says when they arrested him a few days or a week before this, on possession of marijuana, that the law saw the stun gun and the handcuffs in his truck--so it was him.The possession arrest took place in a small town called Florence, Ala. He paid his bond and they released him.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Mother situation
Yesterday Judy asked Beth why she wasn't going home. Beth sidestepped the reason. This morning Judy called Brenda and Brenda told her why. Judy then accused Brenda of having a gambling problem too. Brenda said, "No, Judy, I don't go as often as you do, I use my own money and when I don't have the money I don't go nor do I spend as much money as you do. And I certainly don't spend someone else's money."
Judy then called mother and wanted to know why they were going behind her back to do this. She also told mother that she (mother) would be sorry for doing this.
They met with the lawyer and he has already spoke with Mother. He went to the office at the nursing home to verify that mother was in her right mind and could make these decisions. He also mentioned that he thought it would be reasonable to go after Judy to pay mother back. Terry didn't know if mother would agree to this, but as of about 10 minutes ago, the lawyer had returned to Mother's room and Terry, Beth, Mother and the lawyer were discussing the problem and what could be done to fix it.
Judy then called mother and wanted to know why they were going behind her back to do this. She also told mother that she (mother) would be sorry for doing this.
They met with the lawyer and he has already spoke with Mother. He went to the office at the nursing home to verify that mother was in her right mind and could make these decisions. He also mentioned that he thought it would be reasonable to go after Judy to pay mother back. Terry didn't know if mother would agree to this, but as of about 10 minutes ago, the lawyer had returned to Mother's room and Terry, Beth, Mother and the lawyer were discussing the problem and what could be done to fix it.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Shandi and mother
Well, I think I wrote in here about my meeting with the superintendent of Education of our District. I wrote him a few days later restateing what I heard him say when he phoned me with 'his' plans for Shandi and himself. I've not heard from that letter.
I've also mentioned, I think, that before writing the newspaper and the Supt. of Ed., I had contacted the Protection and Advocacy Services for our state. They got a signed release form from Stacie, then sent some other form to her to sign indicating they had looked over her situation and had decided to take her case. I had sent some pertinent information when we returned the forms.
On July 9, (yesterday) Stacie received the following letter from Sue Cannimore, Senior Advocate/Education Team Co-Leader
Disability Rights Mississippi (which is a part of Protection and Advocacy Services)
It was a copy of an email Sue had written to the Director of SPED in Tylertown, Cherry Smith. (The same Cherry Smith I have met with at least 4 times, and pointed out to her Shandi's difficulties and my frustrations each time)The email was written on July 7, 2009.
It states:
Good morning, Cherry. I’m writing regarding Shandi Marie Rogers who attends Salem Elementary School in your District. Shandi has been in the Tier Process but has been removed due to the fact that she improved with the intervention provided. Because of the following information, I am requesting that you do not place Shandi back into the Tier Process, but begin to immediately evaluate her for special services.
Shandi’s second grade report card indicates A’s in reading, English and math, but it is noted that these were earned with “special assistance”. In addition, under Work Habits, it is noted that Shandi has an “S” in works independently, but on the first and third terms, it is indicated that those were earned “with one-on-one assistance”. Finally, under “special notices” it is indicated that Shandi is below grade level.
In addition, Dr. John Jolly in 2005, diagnosed Shandi with ADHD, Combined Type, ODD with conduct problems and aggressiveness, Adjustment Disorder, Unspecified, Social Skills Deficits and Mild Mental Retardation.
Dr. William Osborne in 2006 diagnosed her with ADHD, Combined Type, ODD, Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety and Depressed Mood, Bipolar Disorder and Social Skills deficits.
It seems quite apparent to me that this young child is in need of evaluation and that it should be done now, not a year or two down the road when lack of appropriate services has caused her to drop further and further behind and her mood becomes more and more depressed. If you are willing to do the evaluation, please let me know when it can be begun. If you are not willing to do it, please send justification for that.
I need your answer no later than 10/17/09. Thank you.
What comes of this is anybody's guess. But I sure feel validated that someone else sees the situation the same way I see it.
I've also mentioned, I think, that before writing the newspaper and the Supt. of Ed., I had contacted the Protection and Advocacy Services for our state. They got a signed release form from Stacie, then sent some other form to her to sign indicating they had looked over her situation and had decided to take her case. I had sent some pertinent information when we returned the forms.
On July 9, (yesterday) Stacie received the following letter from Sue Cannimore, Senior Advocate/Education Team Co-Leader
Disability Rights Mississippi (which is a part of Protection and Advocacy Services)
It was a copy of an email Sue had written to the Director of SPED in Tylertown, Cherry Smith. (The same Cherry Smith I have met with at least 4 times, and pointed out to her Shandi's difficulties and my frustrations each time)The email was written on July 7, 2009.
It states:
Good morning, Cherry. I’m writing regarding Shandi Marie Rogers who attends Salem Elementary School in your District. Shandi has been in the Tier Process but has been removed due to the fact that she improved with the intervention provided. Because of the following information, I am requesting that you do not place Shandi back into the Tier Process, but begin to immediately evaluate her for special services.
Shandi’s second grade report card indicates A’s in reading, English and math, but it is noted that these were earned with “special assistance”. In addition, under Work Habits, it is noted that Shandi has an “S” in works independently, but on the first and third terms, it is indicated that those were earned “with one-on-one assistance”. Finally, under “special notices” it is indicated that Shandi is below grade level.
In addition, Dr. John Jolly in 2005, diagnosed Shandi with ADHD, Combined Type, ODD with conduct problems and aggressiveness, Adjustment Disorder, Unspecified, Social Skills Deficits and Mild Mental Retardation.
Dr. William Osborne in 2006 diagnosed her with ADHD, Combined Type, ODD, Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety and Depressed Mood, Bipolar Disorder and Social Skills deficits.
It seems quite apparent to me that this young child is in need of evaluation and that it should be done now, not a year or two down the road when lack of appropriate services has caused her to drop further and further behind and her mood becomes more and more depressed. If you are willing to do the evaluation, please let me know when it can be begun. If you are not willing to do it, please send justification for that.
I need your answer no later than 10/17/09. Thank you.
What comes of this is anybody's guess. But I sure feel validated that someone else sees the situation the same way I see it.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
The 4th, 09
There is nothing like sitting quietly on the patio, the breeze cooling off the heat of the day, watching a child play in a huge box. The sounds of her giggles and her occasional ‘mama mia’ fill the air, as she bounces around inside her toy, rolling down the hill in it, jumping across the grass in it and living out her imagination as she finds all sorts of things to do within her own private little castle.
Such was the scene this evening as Shandi played in a box that the central heat unit was boxed in. Such fun she had after we had the hamburgers on cooking and had rested from our work at the nursery. Papa had taken a shower, then Ana took one. Shandi and I were still dirty and sweaty. She and I are swinging and Ana is sitting in papa’s lap. Such a peaceful scene, as we listen to the jingle jangle of the swing chain, the birds singing in the background, the frogs croaking asking for just a bit more rain and the crickets chirping. Can life get any better?
Such was the scene this evening as Shandi played in a box that the central heat unit was boxed in. Such fun she had after we had the hamburgers on cooking and had rested from our work at the nursery. Papa had taken a shower, then Ana took one. Shandi and I were still dirty and sweaty. She and I are swinging and Ana is sitting in papa’s lap. Such a peaceful scene, as we listen to the jingle jangle of the swing chain, the birds singing in the background, the frogs croaking asking for just a bit more rain and the crickets chirping. Can life get any better?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
other people's money
June 26 was Beth’s weekend to go stay with mother. During her visit Mother mentioned that she had asked Judy for her bank statement several times, but as of yet Judy hadn’t produced it. Mother asked Beth to check and see if the statement had come in.
So Beth looked on the table and in the mail box, but no statement. She then noticed a couple of bags of garbage Judy hadn’t taken out. She opened one and found all the envelopes from the mail Judy had opened. She closed that bag, and opened the other one. The first thing she saw was mother’s bank statement shredded.
She went back to the nursing home and told mother the statement wasn’t in the mailbox or on the table. She didn’t have the heart to tell her she had found a bank statement shredded—yet there was a stack of them on the kitchen table unshredded.
On Tuesday, June 30, Beth called me and shared this info with me. We discussed what should be done. She then called Terry and Brenda and by Wednesday, today, they had decided they would all 3 go down and have mother give the bank permission to give them a copy of her missing bank statement.
They did this and in doing so discovered that Judy had spend close to 4000.00 during the month at the casinos according to the statement dated May 15-June 15. According to the bank records, another 2000.00 was unaccounted for also.
The told mother about this and showed her the bank statements. While she looks at the bank statement, Judy walks in the room. However, Judy doesn’t say a word. Mother decides that when she confronts Judy she wants Robert, Judy’s husband there also. She also is having the 3 go to the credit union tomorrow and check to see if the 30,000.00 she had cashed in from savings bonds had been deposited and also to deposit close to another 30,000.00 from an accident settlement she just got. They are also going to have Judy’s name removed from any account dealing with money and have the other 3 kid’s name put on it. Mother will call the bank and have her atm card number changed as well as call her credit card company and have that number changed because Judy has possession of both of those.
But, Judy bowls on Wednesday nite and she informed them she had to bowl tomorrow for someone else. She also goes to the casino after bowling, and Terry and his other two sisters believe the bowling for someone else is an excuse to not come see mother tomorrow. So whether or not they all confront her or not remains to be seen. If Judy doesn’t show her face at the home, confrontation isn’t possible.
Lord what a mess. Mother trusted Judy. Judy was the one who lives nearest and mother believed she would handle her money properly. Yet that isn’t how addiction works and mother simply doesn’t understand addiction.
So Beth looked on the table and in the mail box, but no statement. She then noticed a couple of bags of garbage Judy hadn’t taken out. She opened one and found all the envelopes from the mail Judy had opened. She closed that bag, and opened the other one. The first thing she saw was mother’s bank statement shredded.
She went back to the nursing home and told mother the statement wasn’t in the mailbox or on the table. She didn’t have the heart to tell her she had found a bank statement shredded—yet there was a stack of them on the kitchen table unshredded.
On Tuesday, June 30, Beth called me and shared this info with me. We discussed what should be done. She then called Terry and Brenda and by Wednesday, today, they had decided they would all 3 go down and have mother give the bank permission to give them a copy of her missing bank statement.
They did this and in doing so discovered that Judy had spend close to 4000.00 during the month at the casinos according to the statement dated May 15-June 15. According to the bank records, another 2000.00 was unaccounted for also.
The told mother about this and showed her the bank statements. While she looks at the bank statement, Judy walks in the room. However, Judy doesn’t say a word. Mother decides that when she confronts Judy she wants Robert, Judy’s husband there also. She also is having the 3 go to the credit union tomorrow and check to see if the 30,000.00 she had cashed in from savings bonds had been deposited and also to deposit close to another 30,000.00 from an accident settlement she just got. They are also going to have Judy’s name removed from any account dealing with money and have the other 3 kid’s name put on it. Mother will call the bank and have her atm card number changed as well as call her credit card company and have that number changed because Judy has possession of both of those.
But, Judy bowls on Wednesday nite and she informed them she had to bowl tomorrow for someone else. She also goes to the casino after bowling, and Terry and his other two sisters believe the bowling for someone else is an excuse to not come see mother tomorrow. So whether or not they all confront her or not remains to be seen. If Judy doesn’t show her face at the home, confrontation isn’t possible.
Lord what a mess. Mother trusted Judy. Judy was the one who lives nearest and mother believed she would handle her money properly. Yet that isn’t how addiction works and mother simply doesn’t understand addiction.
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