Things --as things always do--change from hour to hour.
Mother was taken from rehab to the nearby hospital at Ocean Springs around midnight last night. (Previously she was in the hospital at Pascagoula, prior to going to rehab)
Whatever they did, she had had two good BM's by noon today and was feeling better than she had since the surgery.
Later on today they ran the scope down her; found a tear in her esophagus. I think Judy said they fixed it? Not sure if they are fixable--I get this information when I have customers milling around and I simply can't concentrate enough to totally remember everything.
Mother is hoping they will go up from the read tomorrow and try to discover the problem with the bowels--BUT; as Rita says, and as I've already pondered; with paralysis this could be an ongoing problem.
My brain can't wrap totally around how-if one can't move anything below the waist, then how does one relieve themselves; or does one who is permanently in this shape have to have catheters and colostomies?
Does the need to bags depend on what nerves are affected in the paralysis?
Stacie is planning to keep the girls out of school Friday since it's her only day off this week other than tomorrow and drive down to visit with Mother. She would go tomorrow, but she will need to go with Brenda to pick up her car so she can drive Brenda's truck back down here. She says she could have sold it last night. when we asked her why she didn't she replied that with the car the way it is, she needs the truck to fall back on.
My sunburned feet kept waking me up last night. Every two hours I'd wake with a start because the aloe vera I had rubbed on them had worn off. I'd get up, drink some tea and rub them down again. I made sure those babies were not exposed to any sun today and at least they only burn when I forget and rub the tops. The knuckles only bother me when I rub them hard against something.
I very well know the importance of having some free time from the responsibilities piled on us. When I had the girls and Stacie was not allowed to have them at her house, Beth would come get them for the weekend from time to time. It really gave me time to recoup and helped keep me from burning out.
Looking back over the years and especially the past 5 or 6 when the girls have been more a part of my life than usual for most grandma's--it was always Beth who stepped up and did something nice, considerate and thoughtful toward helping me out.
Brenda stayed with Terry a couple of different times to help out with them so I could go to alanon assembly and she was always helpful when she came for the weekend.
Judy, on the other hand, always treated the girls as though they were inconveniences.
Once when they were all up for the weekend, as is their habit, on saturday evening the sisters and mother would pile up and go shopping. Ana, of course always wanted to go with them. I usually had the nursery because terry and Robert would be doing something around the place. Judy would never let Ana go. Ana would cry and I hated that.
A couple of times of this happening and I told Terry that from then on when they came up, if shopping was on the agenda, I was going and I was taking Ana and Shandi if she wanted to go. And that I did. I could tell that Judy didn't like it. She would always be short with the girls. I never could understand why though because neither of the girls are the type of kids who whine and cry for toys or anything. They enjoy looking and they will ask if they can have something; but if I say no, they accept no. They don't run and act out in the stores, they always behave so I couldn't understand her dislike of their going shopping.
Funny thing--after I went along with the girls a couple of times, she no longer HAS to go shopping when she's up here. Imagine that! :D
She-Judy will let Ana play cards with them, something else she didn't want Ana doing for a long time even though Ana plays well. So maybe she's mellowing out a bit. Judy has grands of her own, so it isn't like she doesn't know what being a grandma is like.
Oh well, I rambled on about that didn't I?
It's just that when crisis hits, I always get --what's my word here besides emotional? *grins*....I look back and contemplate--contemplative. I know with situations such as this one I'm reminded yet again at fragile life is, how the status quo can change in a heart beat and how living life to the fullest, one moment at a time is so important.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Assessment
April 26, 2009 ramblings
There were no children left to take care of my paternal g'ma, just me, my sis and my bro. Since I lived close, and since my sis and bro helped mom some 20 miles away; g'ma was left to me.
Did I resent it? No. This doesn't mean that I was holier than thou, better than others--it simply means that this is who I am; it's part of my make up I suppose. Al-anon has helped a lot there too.
But all my life I've stepped up to the plate and took care of whom ever needed taking care of--whether it was my 'job' or not. It began at age 11 with my sister and ended with my neighbor, Dane; so far anyway. Well, in actuality it hasn't ended, I still help with the grands, but ya get the picture.
I remember once, years ago, when I had my brother here, a fellow at church saying something to the effect of how great it was that Terry and I took my brother in considering we had 2 kids of our own. I looked at him like he was nuts. I honestly thought it was what I supposed to do.
I'm grateful that I was able to do these things without resentments. Each of them have taught me something valuable. I am also grateful at this point in life that other than the girls, I don't have anyone to 'tend to'. I am also grateful that I have learned to say no when appropriate.
Now; I so agree with you concerning Judy. She will and does need time away, regardless of where she goes during her time. I suppose what it bothering Brenda is the attitude Judy has about the whole thing. It's a poor me, look how I'm going to be tied down attitude--
What's funny is sometimes Brenda has that same negative attitude and I'm reminded of what I've learned in alanon; when something in someone else bugs me, often it's because I see myself in them. :D
Here are the girls and my assessment of them....unprofessio nal as it is.
Judy; oldest, very uptight, proper, holds things in, controlling. Will attend church, but doesn't talk much about a relationship with God. From what I know she's not very spiritual.
Brenda: second, more open minded, verbal about feelings, a bit defensive, a true caretaker. Brenda is not nearly as uptight as Judy, nor nearly as proper in behavior as Judy. IOW, neither/ none of the girls would talk openly about sex or joke about it like I might do. Brenda will quickly tell you that her faith has helped her through many trials and positive thinking is very important.
Brenda went through grief counseling after Bobby's death; I also share a lot of alanon with her; we've grown and changed together through the years.
Terry: third, only boy, before al-anon he was very close mouthed about feelings, stubborn to a fault, close minded and controlling.
Since attending al-anon, he is often moved to tears although he has trouble expressing feelings, he does try. He's more open minded, less controlling, and not nearly as stubborn. He's very spiritual.
Elizabeth: baby, Beth will talk to me about feelings thoughts, problems, she's more tender hearted and easily hurt than the other girls. She's another caretaker, will defend her beliefs to the end. Beth is probably the most 'religious' of all the children, but she's also very spiritual.
Now Mother is not doing well. Her bowels are impacted. The hospital didn't make sure they were moving but instead called ahead to the rehab and told them to do something. The hospital did give her medication, even an enema, and dug some out; but nothing is moving the stuff on through.
Given she's paralyzed from the waist down, I'm wondering if such body functions will be normal or what happens there?
You know how talk goes. Beth talked with a nurse at her church-the nurse said sounded like mother had a spinal stroke. I looked that up and couldn't understand what I read as it was all in medical lingo. I did grab hold of this....that in some cases a spinal stroke not only paralyzes the limbs, but in cases where it's from the waist down, body functions are also or can also be paralyzed. But we don't even know if this is what happened. I don't even know what type doctor treated her.
The nurse at the rehab told them they had cause to sue the hospital because the hospital didn't do an MRI when they brought mother in that first day complaing of back pain.
They are trying to get legal matters in order. Mother tells the girls to release her so she can die. It's a mess.
Brenda's car quit on her last night at a restaurant, and Terry had to go bring it home today. She needed to come in and go back to work. She took her truck, which she had left here for us to run from time to time to keep it chareged up. She will call the dealership tomorrow, as it's only a bit over a year old and she's had trouble with it from the get go. So Terry drove 250 miles to the coast to get Brenda's car, then drove back home today. This meant I had the nursery by myself this evening.
I'm taking another run of antibiotic for this bronchitis. This one makes me sensitive to the sun--guess where I work? Guess who has sunburn on her feet and knuckles of all places. I could understand my feet. I've worn sandels the past few days due to the heat and my feet were fairly white, but my knuckles? Not my hands, arms, legs......but my feet, my knuckles and my cheeks have a little burn on them.
There were no children left to take care of my paternal g'ma, just me, my sis and my bro. Since I lived close, and since my sis and bro helped mom some 20 miles away; g'ma was left to me.
Did I resent it? No. This doesn't mean that I was holier than thou, better than others--it simply means that this is who I am; it's part of my make up I suppose. Al-anon has helped a lot there too.
But all my life I've stepped up to the plate and took care of whom ever needed taking care of--whether it was my 'job' or not. It began at age 11 with my sister and ended with my neighbor, Dane; so far anyway. Well, in actuality it hasn't ended, I still help with the grands, but ya get the picture.
I remember once, years ago, when I had my brother here, a fellow at church saying something to the effect of how great it was that Terry and I took my brother in considering we had 2 kids of our own. I looked at him like he was nuts. I honestly thought it was what I supposed to do.
I'm grateful that I was able to do these things without resentments. Each of them have taught me something valuable. I am also grateful at this point in life that other than the girls, I don't have anyone to 'tend to'. I am also grateful that I have learned to say no when appropriate.
Now; I so agree with you concerning Judy. She will and does need time away, regardless of where she goes during her time. I suppose what it bothering Brenda is the attitude Judy has about the whole thing. It's a poor me, look how I'm going to be tied down attitude--
What's funny is sometimes Brenda has that same negative attitude and I'm reminded of what I've learned in alanon; when something in someone else bugs me, often it's because I see myself in them. :D
Here are the girls and my assessment of them....unprofessio nal as it is.
Judy; oldest, very uptight, proper, holds things in, controlling. Will attend church, but doesn't talk much about a relationship with God. From what I know she's not very spiritual.
Brenda: second, more open minded, verbal about feelings, a bit defensive, a true caretaker. Brenda is not nearly as uptight as Judy, nor nearly as proper in behavior as Judy. IOW, neither/ none of the girls would talk openly about sex or joke about it like I might do. Brenda will quickly tell you that her faith has helped her through many trials and positive thinking is very important.
Brenda went through grief counseling after Bobby's death; I also share a lot of alanon with her; we've grown and changed together through the years.
Terry: third, only boy, before al-anon he was very close mouthed about feelings, stubborn to a fault, close minded and controlling.
Since attending al-anon, he is often moved to tears although he has trouble expressing feelings, he does try. He's more open minded, less controlling, and not nearly as stubborn. He's very spiritual.
Elizabeth: baby, Beth will talk to me about feelings thoughts, problems, she's more tender hearted and easily hurt than the other girls. She's another caretaker, will defend her beliefs to the end. Beth is probably the most 'religious' of all the children, but she's also very spiritual.
Now Mother is not doing well. Her bowels are impacted. The hospital didn't make sure they were moving but instead called ahead to the rehab and told them to do something. The hospital did give her medication, even an enema, and dug some out; but nothing is moving the stuff on through.
Given she's paralyzed from the waist down, I'm wondering if such body functions will be normal or what happens there?
You know how talk goes. Beth talked with a nurse at her church-the nurse said sounded like mother had a spinal stroke. I looked that up and couldn't understand what I read as it was all in medical lingo. I did grab hold of this....that in some cases a spinal stroke not only paralyzes the limbs, but in cases where it's from the waist down, body functions are also or can also be paralyzed. But we don't even know if this is what happened. I don't even know what type doctor treated her.
The nurse at the rehab told them they had cause to sue the hospital because the hospital didn't do an MRI when they brought mother in that first day complaing of back pain.
They are trying to get legal matters in order. Mother tells the girls to release her so she can die. It's a mess.
Brenda's car quit on her last night at a restaurant, and Terry had to go bring it home today. She needed to come in and go back to work. She took her truck, which she had left here for us to run from time to time to keep it chareged up. She will call the dealership tomorrow, as it's only a bit over a year old and she's had trouble with it from the get go. So Terry drove 250 miles to the coast to get Brenda's car, then drove back home today. This meant I had the nursery by myself this evening.
I'm taking another run of antibiotic for this bronchitis. This one makes me sensitive to the sun--guess where I work? Guess who has sunburn on her feet and knuckles of all places. I could understand my feet. I've worn sandels the past few days due to the heat and my feet were fairly white, but my knuckles? Not my hands, arms, legs......but my feet, my knuckles and my cheeks have a little burn on them.
Monday, April 20, 2009
MIL, nephews, neices and granddaughter
Mother is holding her own. She still can't move her feet or legs; her veins are collasping and they had to put her drip in her chest. Brenda says her toes moved twice this morning, but the doc says they didn't. Her blood pressure keeps dropping really low too.
On Friday evening, Colby, the 6 year old nephew; Judy's grandson, climbed up in the closet, got the bb gun and shot his 18 year old sister. The BB lodged in her gum or tongue--Terry didn't understand which. They spent most of the night in the ER getting it removed. Colby is ADHD and very uncontrollable. It doesn't help that the parents allow him to get by with all his shenanigens. Correction is not in their vocabulary, other than to say--Colby, please don't do that.
Shandi has been feeling poorly all weekend due to constipation. She has the worst time with that, in spite of the things we do to help her. We make sure she drinks juices, we give her Miralax, she doesn't eat a lot of junk; but still she has a sluggish bowel.
In spite of feeling bad, we took her out to eat at Olive Garden for her birthday. We had a great time. We had them bring her a small cake and sing Happy Birthday to her which just thrilled her a lot. Robby and Paula were out so they rode with us. We really enjoyed spending the time with them. Robby worked on trimming my Red Tips back and got them all trimmed except 3, which he'll get the next time he's out. They had gotten so tall they looked bad.
I go back to the doc tomorrow. I'm still coughing a lot and still have infection. I certainly don't need this to turn into pneumonia, so it's back for more medication.
On Wednesday of last week, when Terry left going to the coast, he stopped by the church to let the preacher know about his mom. The preacher got his cell phone number so he could call and check on mother. The next morning I called to report in. The preacher was gone to be with a member delivering a baby, so I gave the report to his wife. She also took our home phone number and Terry's cell phone number. However, the preacher never called Terry or me to check further on Mother.
Terry asked me about it when he came in Friday night, so I knew it bothered him.
Sunday when I went to church, the preacher was standing by the side door, as he always is, greeting folks as we come in. He spoke, then asked about Mother. I told him then said, "Terry was hurt that you didnt' call him to check on his mom."
The preacher turned his head, wouldn't even look at me and said, "Well, it's been a rough week. Lots going on."
I agreed that it had, indeed been a rough week.
He then says," Please tell Terry how sorry I am."
I replied, "I think it best that you tell him that yourself." With that, I walked on in the church.
The dude simply doesn't like me, since I disagreed with him about a gay person. He's been cold and distant toward me ever since. Then when Terry told one of the deacon's that they didn't have the balls to stand up to the preacher, he got even more cold and distant. I guess that's something that is between him and God, though. I just refuse to bite my tongue when he goes around acting like and preaching as though he never does a thing wrong, he's always right and we're the ones who are such sinners.
On Friday evening, Colby, the 6 year old nephew; Judy's grandson, climbed up in the closet, got the bb gun and shot his 18 year old sister. The BB lodged in her gum or tongue--Terry didn't understand which. They spent most of the night in the ER getting it removed. Colby is ADHD and very uncontrollable. It doesn't help that the parents allow him to get by with all his shenanigens. Correction is not in their vocabulary, other than to say--Colby, please don't do that.
Shandi has been feeling poorly all weekend due to constipation. She has the worst time with that, in spite of the things we do to help her. We make sure she drinks juices, we give her Miralax, she doesn't eat a lot of junk; but still she has a sluggish bowel.
In spite of feeling bad, we took her out to eat at Olive Garden for her birthday. We had a great time. We had them bring her a small cake and sing Happy Birthday to her which just thrilled her a lot. Robby and Paula were out so they rode with us. We really enjoyed spending the time with them. Robby worked on trimming my Red Tips back and got them all trimmed except 3, which he'll get the next time he's out. They had gotten so tall they looked bad.
I go back to the doc tomorrow. I'm still coughing a lot and still have infection. I certainly don't need this to turn into pneumonia, so it's back for more medication.
On Wednesday of last week, when Terry left going to the coast, he stopped by the church to let the preacher know about his mom. The preacher got his cell phone number so he could call and check on mother. The next morning I called to report in. The preacher was gone to be with a member delivering a baby, so I gave the report to his wife. She also took our home phone number and Terry's cell phone number. However, the preacher never called Terry or me to check further on Mother.
Terry asked me about it when he came in Friday night, so I knew it bothered him.
Sunday when I went to church, the preacher was standing by the side door, as he always is, greeting folks as we come in. He spoke, then asked about Mother. I told him then said, "Terry was hurt that you didnt' call him to check on his mom."
The preacher turned his head, wouldn't even look at me and said, "Well, it's been a rough week. Lots going on."
I agreed that it had, indeed been a rough week.
He then says," Please tell Terry how sorry I am."
I replied, "I think it best that you tell him that yourself." With that, I walked on in the church.
The dude simply doesn't like me, since I disagreed with him about a gay person. He's been cold and distant toward me ever since. Then when Terry told one of the deacon's that they didn't have the balls to stand up to the preacher, he got even more cold and distant. I guess that's something that is between him and God, though. I just refuse to bite my tongue when he goes around acting like and preaching as though he never does a thing wrong, he's always right and we're the ones who are such sinners.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
MIL Update
Mother made it through the surgery. The doctors are keeping her asleep all night as they don't want her waking up and moving around.
The doc said this was a tough surgery to recover from as a young person; an 82 year old woman would have a really tough time.
Seems she has several blood clots pressing against her spine, most likely caused from the falls she'd taken after her last surgery.
They cut her from the #1 vertabrae to past the #12, as well as put several holes in her back removing the blood clots. Sounds painful to me!
The doc said this was a tough surgery to recover from as a young person; an 82 year old woman would have a really tough time.
Seems she has several blood clots pressing against her spine, most likely caused from the falls she'd taken after her last surgery.
They cut her from the #1 vertabrae to past the #12, as well as put several holes in her back removing the blood clots. Sounds painful to me!
My Mom
I suppose the fear of what may happen to my mother in law has me in retro-mode. Vivid images of my own mother keep flitting across the screen of my mind. While never close, she was and always will be my mother, the woman who brought me into this world.
This young photo of my mom is the one I keep seeing. What was on her mind? What dreams did she have? Did she plan for a brighter future than what awaited her? Did marriage and a child deter her from her dreams? Was she truly happy or did life's problems; maybe even some mental problems cause her much unhappiness?
I know as a child I didn't give her many problems. I wanted too much to please.
Only mom knows what really went on within her heart and mind.
Mother in Law
My mother in law is undergoing emergency surgery right now.
She was sick with bronchitis last week. Monday she began to hurt in her chest and back, so was taken to the ER. They did EKG's which all turned out fine, but admitted her for observation.
She became paralyzed from the waist down sometimes today after 10, when Terry spoke with her.
I had spoken with Brenda and Beth around 5 and they said that once the docs did this battery of tests they were moving her into ICU due to the paralysis; then the call came about the surgery which leads me to believe that the tests showed them the problem.
Judy said that she had blood in the spleen.
I looked up blood in spleen, but it wasn't very informative. She's had 5 or 6 back surgeries through the years. The last time they put rods in her back; then had to go in and take them out for some reason.
I must admit that I'm not really knowledgeable on the reason for that because mother is one of those who constantly tells you about the latest ailment she has; over and over and over and over........
She's the type that if you have a headache, she has to tell you about the killer headache, backache, arm ache, butt ache she had when she was 3. :D
But on a more compassionate/touching note--when we sat down for supper Ana says--I'm not eating until we say a prayer.
I asked if she was going to do the praying.
No, she says, you are momo.
I asked what were we praying for and she replied, grandmommy.
She wanted us to hold hands--so we held hands and I prayed for grandmommy. It truly blessed me that the child initiated the prayer request-most kids don't think of that.
Just remember her in your prayers, as well as the girls and Terry.
love,
Klara
She was sick with bronchitis last week. Monday she began to hurt in her chest and back, so was taken to the ER. They did EKG's which all turned out fine, but admitted her for observation.
She became paralyzed from the waist down sometimes today after 10, when Terry spoke with her.
I had spoken with Brenda and Beth around 5 and they said that once the docs did this battery of tests they were moving her into ICU due to the paralysis; then the call came about the surgery which leads me to believe that the tests showed them the problem.
Judy said that she had blood in the spleen.
I looked up blood in spleen, but it wasn't very informative. She's had 5 or 6 back surgeries through the years. The last time they put rods in her back; then had to go in and take them out for some reason.
I must admit that I'm not really knowledgeable on the reason for that because mother is one of those who constantly tells you about the latest ailment she has; over and over and over and over........
She's the type that if you have a headache, she has to tell you about the killer headache, backache, arm ache, butt ache she had when she was 3. :D
But on a more compassionate/touching note--when we sat down for supper Ana says--I'm not eating until we say a prayer.
I asked if she was going to do the praying.
No, she says, you are momo.
I asked what were we praying for and she replied, grandmommy.
She wanted us to hold hands--so we held hands and I prayed for grandmommy. It truly blessed me that the child initiated the prayer request-most kids don't think of that.
Just remember her in your prayers, as well as the girls and Terry.
love,
Klara
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