Contentment

Written Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Life has a way of teaching us many things if we but look. A high school chum, later on neighbor died yesterday. He was a tall, good looking young man in his youth. He grew up within walking distance of me, and from time to time he, myself and his little sister played together. Being all boy, of course he terrorized us, but all in all he was a good person.

After graduation he married a lady from below town, got a job with the telephone company, had children and appeared to be settled down into the all American life—until one evening he had a wreck in the telephone truck. During the ex-rays to determine any damages from the wreck they discovered a brain tumor. He was operated on and from then on he was never the same.

His wife divorced him, he had to go on disability and mentally he simply wasn’t what he used to be. He could care for himself, he lived alone, moving back to his home place below us. He attended church faithfully and for all intents and purposes he had a good life—given the condition he was in. As the years passed, he slowly declined in health and yesterday he was finally taken from this life of pain and disability and is now free.

Attending the wake tonight, I ran into a girl who was a grade ahead of me in school. She was one of the beautiful people; popular, active in sports, the life of the party. She married, had a child and life seemed good. A few years down the road her husband died. I had not actually heard anything about her since then.

As we talked the step sister to the deceased man walked up and Millie and she talked school. A remark was made by Millie about her child and public school, hubby mentioned having gone to Tylertown, while Millie and I went to Salem—the country school. The Step sister remarked that the sophisticated ones went to the private school. The she moved on and Millie and I resumed talking.

She mentioned her child had to be in Special Education. I asked if I could call her, because I have a granddaughter who will probably need Special Ed for some of her classes. She opened up more, shared a bit more about her daughter, and as she did, we shared a few tears together.

Too soon the visit was over and as I left my mind was tumbling with thoughts. Somewhere along the path of life, I came up with the belief that there were people who were better than me. I truly haven’t a clue as to why I came to believe this and I’ve given it much thought. Was it because of the attitudes of those who did have more material wise than I; was it their treatment of me?; was it the attitude/actions/words of my parents? Or was it what my parents did NOT say to me?

Regardless of where, how or why I came up with this belief, in part I still hold some remnants of that belief today. As a school kid, Millie was among the people who were better than me or so I thought.

As I rode home I pondered the conversations during my time at the funeral home. The step sister who made the sophistication remark as well as her step sister and family have all moved away and developed this pseudo-classy-proper manner of speech of ways of acting. Gone are the simple country ways they grew up with. Their clothes, their cars, their speech, their manners all told the story of having bettered themselves, of having become better than their roots.

Yet Millie stood there by me, wrinkles telling the story of the pain she’d suffered in life, tears in her eyes, hair as disarrayed as mine probably was sharing about her learning disabled daughter, her fight to keep her in public school and get her the help she needed, tending her horses and dogs….living the simple life—I felt a kinship to her, a closeness that I would never have believed possible given my impression of her during our school years.

I was reminded yet once again, just as alanon has taught me, just as I’ve learned through the many books I’ve read, just as the Bible teaches me----we are all created in the image of God, we are all unique, special individuals. Regardless of our position in life, if we are doing our best, we are good enough, we are where we ought to be. Each of us have a gift, a talent, a place, a job to do—from the smartest of us to the not so smart. The key is acceptance…..

Phillipians 4:11-- Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be CONTENT.

Buddy

Ahh, this looks like the place I could call home, he thought as he wandered into the yard of Robert and Judy’s home. Finding a nice comfy spot beneath the sycamore tree he lay down and rested, weary from his long journey.

He awoke the next morning when the sound of Robert’s footsteps startled him from the dream he was having—a dream of love, food a plenty and safety. Yet, unfamiliar with the man who approached him, he jumped up and ran some distance away. He wasn’t taking any chances that this man would run him off like so many others had done.

Yet there was something about this place, this man that tugged at the heartstrings of Buddy—a small dog of unidentified background. So he hung around, slowly making friends with the man and his wife. Soon he was comfy enough to enter the home and within the walls of the brick abode he found a warm lap to nap in, soft couch to rest upon and kindness even when he gathered up Robert’s shoes and lovingly deposited them on the huge bed his new master occupied at night.

Before long he was an integral part of the family, introduced to visiting family and friends, tended by the neighbor when Robert and Judy had to leave and happy as any dog could be in the safe haven he now called home.

But one weekend his new owners invited him to go away with them. Wow, what a treat. He would get to ride in the big, long shiny house they pulled from the shed from time to time and drove away in, returning a few days later. So with much excitement he jumped inside the big, little house on wheels and prepared for his new adventure by checking the whole place out from one end to the other.

On one of his investigative trips he was coming down the steps from the bed/bath area into the living/kitchen area when Robert rounded a curve a bit too fast. Buddy lost his footing and slid on his belly all the way across the floor up to where the two big seats were sitting right near the huge front window. Everyone laughed but Buddy. He didn’t find amusing at all. After all it rather burned his belly and ruffled his pride. Embarrassment caused him to find a spot out of the way and hide his face for a while.

But soon they arrived at their destination. Yes! He thought, finally. I was about to pop. Out the door he scurried and hiking his leg he did what dogs do, first on this tree, then that tree, oh yeah, and that one too. Who would have thought that one little dog could hold so much water.

Wow, Buddy thought as he looked around, checking out the new digs. Lots of open spaces, Plenty of trees to hike on……but what were those little furry things? He cocked his head and he surveyed the cats and they stared right back at him. Hmmm, Buddy thought. They aren’t like me, I might best leave them alone. Turning his attention away he set about learning his way around.

By late evening he was feeling almost at home here. He was feeling comfortable enough to approach one of the cats to check her out. Sniff, sniff…..but it doesn’t smell right as he stuck his nose a bit too close. Splat, the cat reached out and swiped Buddy across the nose, hissing with all hair standing on end as she did so. Buddy yelped as only a frightened dog can do and ran for his master. Hmmm, he thought, I’m bigger but darn if that didn’t hurt. I think I’ll sit here in Robert’s lap and leave those things alone.

Friday morning dawned and Buddy had forgotten all about the incident with the cat the evening before. He spotted one and hunkering down he began to bark at the 3 or 4 cats who were cruising around beside the shed, having followed the girls down from their house. A couple of the cats looked his way with disdain, then went on about their business. Ruff, ruff…..Buddy barked again, bounding toward them expecting them to turn and run. The yellow tabby looked his way as if to say, “You barking at me?” Then Buddy made the fatal error of rushing the cats…..they all bowed up, tails in the air, ears pointed, hissing and preparing to scratch. That’s all it took to send Buddy yelping back toward the patio and the safety of Robert’s lap.

The rest of his visit was much more pleasant. He decided that apart from being anti-social, he simply didn’t have the time to fool with them; he’d rather play with the girls, and get his picture taken at which he had to come see each one as soon as it was snapped.

I liked Buddy and hope he comes back to visit.

update on poinsettias

We ended up selling 28 poinsettias to the church with a possible 2-4 more forthcoming. We would have only sold 20 had the church bought them outright. It just dawned on me that Helen wanted 20, so she and other woman bought 16 asssuming that I would only sell 4 to make the 20 she wanted.

I carried 20 to church this morning and 8 yesterday evening. This morning I tucked about 8 of the ones I brought alternately between the 12 she had in front of the communion table on the floor. They looked nice, but she came behind and removed them. I was starting out to get some more and she walked in and spoke. I spoke back, as I walked away she could see what I did and said--well I..........but I kept walking and she hushed.When I came back in she had moved mine and placed them on the bannister down each side of the choir loft area. O well.

I talked with one of the other deacons this morning and told him that I would like a meeting with Helen, the other lady on the flower committee and at least some of the deacons, IF they thought it would be worth the effort. Right now I think I just want the opportunity to quietly speak my truth to her so that she knows treating me this way is unacceptable to me. Knowing her like I do, I won't do it without witnesses. We'll see on that but I think the thank you will be a great thing to do.

Also, this morning a friend of mine, the one who's husband left and is living in a shed called and wanted to know what time church started. She came in support of me. She had come by yesterday evening when I was so bummed out and it bothered her that I was so affected---usually I'm uplifting her. She's a real friend and I'm glad to have her in my life.

A church friend wrote this to me today concerning those who called and ordered poinsettias:

Know without being told that Helen has been told and will be told again and again so you don't have to worry about saying a think to her. Honey, the army that volunteered yesterday is strong! Nobody was drafted, they all volunteered. I have rarely seen so many people at our church so mad about one thing that has happened. Helen did more harm to herself than anybody else could ever do. Lyndora and Jerry both couldn't believe that she did that. I couldn't believe that she did that. If Michael had not been with me yesterday I guess I probably would have thrown a fit so thank God he was with me. This is funny - he told Pappy last night that the ugliest thing I said to Hilton was that was a very unChristian thing to do. I think James thought that I acted ugly but I didn't. I didn't say anything I said to him in an ugly way. It was WHAT I said and not HOW I said it. We are going to have a WONDERFUL Christmas dinner today and the sanctuary will be beautiful thanks to you and Terry.
I intend to thank the church publically with these words:

I would like to thank everyone who has supported Terry and I during these times of economical uncertainty. Our heartfelt gratitude goes out to those who put aside politics, competition, rivalry and personal gain and followed the example of Christ who considered the welfare of every member of His flock. By your decision to support one of your own you shunned selfishness and avoided choices that would give personal gain yet hurt others in the process.
It is these choices that add to the love we have for you and affirm in our hearts that we are indeed a church family. Our hearts are truly warmed by your support and we are truly blessed.

Sat. Dec. 5, 2009

What a fall. First we lost over half our pansies, snaps and ornamental cabbage and kale. Next, we had two churchs that usually buy poinsettias have different women on the committee for that, so they aren’t buying from us.

Last and definitely not least, our own church has a woman in it who will stab you in the back hard and fast. 2 weeks ago she asked me about the price of poinsettias and said they would want probably 20. Last Sunday she announced that she and one of the members on the flower committee, the same committee I am on, had decided to let each person that wanted a poinsettia buy their own. They could buy them at our place and named the price I gave her, 7.50, for plant, speed cover and tax. No, I was not consulted regarding this new decision.

Today, I find that she has gone to a nursery in the next county, a friend of mine, a nursery that buys from us wholesale and bought 16 poinsettias and placed them in the church. When her husband was asked he said they bought them from Speights because the Speights bought gas from him. He is a gas delivery man for the same gas company I buy my gas from—he just isn’t my driver and won’t ever be my driver.

Some of the other people who don’t agree with this one lady, had called to order their poinsettia, so Terry and I take them over to the church this evening. Because this lady was so back stabbing in what she did, she not only hurt us, embarrassed us, but also made the whole church look tacky because the reds of the poinsettias are different and the color of the speed cover is a different green. She had hers all tucked inside some garland around the table in front of the pulpit, there was no where left to place the ones ordered from me except on the railing going upon the rostum.

I simply can’t understand how people can sleep at night knowing that have hurt church members like that, knowing they have not supported church members. She is the very one who announced that poinsettias could be bought from me, then goes elsewhere to buy hers and some for another lady.

I am just thoroughly disgusted, hurt, angry, embarrassed and sad