Contentment

Written Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Life has a way of teaching us many things if we but look. A high school chum, later on neighbor died yesterday. He was a tall, good looking young man in his youth. He grew up within walking distance of me, and from time to time he, myself and his little sister played together. Being all boy, of course he terrorized us, but all in all he was a good person.

After graduation he married a lady from below town, got a job with the telephone company, had children and appeared to be settled down into the all American life—until one evening he had a wreck in the telephone truck. During the ex-rays to determine any damages from the wreck they discovered a brain tumor. He was operated on and from then on he was never the same.

His wife divorced him, he had to go on disability and mentally he simply wasn’t what he used to be. He could care for himself, he lived alone, moving back to his home place below us. He attended church faithfully and for all intents and purposes he had a good life—given the condition he was in. As the years passed, he slowly declined in health and yesterday he was finally taken from this life of pain and disability and is now free.

Attending the wake tonight, I ran into a girl who was a grade ahead of me in school. She was one of the beautiful people; popular, active in sports, the life of the party. She married, had a child and life seemed good. A few years down the road her husband died. I had not actually heard anything about her since then.

As we talked the step sister to the deceased man walked up and Millie and she talked school. A remark was made by Millie about her child and public school, hubby mentioned having gone to Tylertown, while Millie and I went to Salem—the country school. The Step sister remarked that the sophisticated ones went to the private school. The she moved on and Millie and I resumed talking.

She mentioned her child had to be in Special Education. I asked if I could call her, because I have a granddaughter who will probably need Special Ed for some of her classes. She opened up more, shared a bit more about her daughter, and as she did, we shared a few tears together.

Too soon the visit was over and as I left my mind was tumbling with thoughts. Somewhere along the path of life, I came up with the belief that there were people who were better than me. I truly haven’t a clue as to why I came to believe this and I’ve given it much thought. Was it because of the attitudes of those who did have more material wise than I; was it their treatment of me?; was it the attitude/actions/words of my parents? Or was it what my parents did NOT say to me?

Regardless of where, how or why I came up with this belief, in part I still hold some remnants of that belief today. As a school kid, Millie was among the people who were better than me or so I thought.

As I rode home I pondered the conversations during my time at the funeral home. The step sister who made the sophistication remark as well as her step sister and family have all moved away and developed this pseudo-classy-proper manner of speech of ways of acting. Gone are the simple country ways they grew up with. Their clothes, their cars, their speech, their manners all told the story of having bettered themselves, of having become better than their roots.

Yet Millie stood there by me, wrinkles telling the story of the pain she’d suffered in life, tears in her eyes, hair as disarrayed as mine probably was sharing about her learning disabled daughter, her fight to keep her in public school and get her the help she needed, tending her horses and dogs….living the simple life—I felt a kinship to her, a closeness that I would never have believed possible given my impression of her during our school years.

I was reminded yet once again, just as alanon has taught me, just as I’ve learned through the many books I’ve read, just as the Bible teaches me----we are all created in the image of God, we are all unique, special individuals. Regardless of our position in life, if we are doing our best, we are good enough, we are where we ought to be. Each of us have a gift, a talent, a place, a job to do—from the smartest of us to the not so smart. The key is acceptance…..

Phillipians 4:11-- Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be CONTENT.