Heart Murmers

I left a group this week. Just went to the home page, clicked the leave group button and poof I was gone from a group I had poured a lot of my time and soul into for 4 years.
The only two people who really give a rat's ass that I am gone have contacted me and for them, I am grateful.
The others...well, I suppose I know what they really think about me.

I thought long and hard about this decision. I'd been angry a number of times, thought about leaving, but like with marriage, I let it blow over. Time always takes care of the little nit picky things that bug us...but it became a constant battle to overlook the sarcastic jabs, the hurtful remarks, the inconsideration, the idea that some knew more about what would offend than I, myself, did. Still, the delete is so handy when one is involved in a cyber relationship. It's also very, very easy to sit at our computers and pour out our heartfelt concern, our well wishes, our platitudes...and all the time we could be flipping that person the bird or snickering over their predicament.

Much more is involved when the body must go into motion to carry out what the mouth/fingers are saying.

So why does this eat at me?

Even though I feel strongly that leaving is what was right for me to do...why do I feel off center? Grieving for one thing. A person doesn't pour themselves into anything and not feel something when they walk away from it; even when the walking is the best thing at the time.

Hurt plays a factor also. The written words on the screen, from day to day, led me to believe those women liked me; cared about what happened to me....but as I looked back, I see their love, their caring, their words were simply words typed out at the moment to present themselves as compassionate people. True, at the moment I cared, but in the long run not so much because I am so much different than them. I work. I farm. I garden. I am poor. I attend church. I believe. I have faith. I only have a high school education academically.

While others miss a few days of posting and they fall all over themselves to find out why, I miss a whole week and not a word is said.
While some go through health issues and daily questions are asked, they patiently wait for updates, I laid in bed for a month with a very few check ins and my name was never mentioned. I was not missed by the majority.

That speaks volumes.

So...as I look at my world...fake friends online, crazy daughter who is getting herself into only God knows what, alcoholic son who seldom contacts us...today is the day to let it all go. To thank God for those friends who are real and true that I have...the few online and the few in real life...today is the day!

Yesterday was the day too when I told Stacie that someone needed to take her to the back forty with a long switch and not bring her back until the switch was a toothpick. Furthermore, since I raised her sorry ass, maybe I need that same beating and while we're at it...maybe they need to run with the girls so I don't ruin them like I did Stacie.

Life!!!!!!



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The only thing that is the end of the world--IS the end of the world

spiritual gifts

But spiritual gifts are given only to Christians, and they are something you never had before you became a Christian.

As I studied for my DT class this coming Sunday I ran across this statement. It is a statement I have made numerous times as I've taught Bible classes. It is not something I have thought about as deeply as I should.

We are all born with some sort of talent--music, art, diplomacy, math, science...we all have a natural talent in some area or other.

Spiritual gifts are given to us at the moment of salvation and it is up to us to develop them, to allow God to use them through us.

I need to think more deeply on this.



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The only thing that is the end of the world--IS the end of the world

VBS2

It's raining here, just a misting rain, but rain. Electric went out last night sometimes...Terry was called out to help cut a tree off the road where the high winds had blown it down. Don't know when the power came back on, but woke at 6 to that modern utility we know not how to live without. :D

We have adventures here today also. Ana is to get a rabbit, a blue dutch, whatever that is. However, before we get it there is to be an understanding...rabbit; stay home and tend it. No rabbit, get to spend days on end with friends at their home.

I have an appointment to get my hair cut after lunch. I had text my beautician Saturday. She replied last night with...no excuse for not answering your request; but if you still want ME to cut your hair, anytime will work for me.

No problemo....I know how it feels to just not want to fool with anyone.

Then tonight VBS.

Have a good one out there.

--
Character is what we are, not what others think we are.

VBS 1

I've been extremely busy and will be all this week and am planning a quick get away to the coast if possible following VBS (vacation bible school) this week. Not sure I can squeeze it in, but plan to try.

Yesterday was a whirlwind.
Up, breakfast, off to church where I taught my mid-adult class, did the preaching service...where the vbs workers were commissioned--ie: stood before the congregation and a prayer made.

Then it was our time to do the ministry at one of the 2 nursing homes. We loaded in the van, myself and 8 others, went to the local Pizza Inn for lunch, ate and visited, then on to Golden Living for our short service. Back to church, where I didn't even go home, but instead finished up the preparation of the craft area, decided for sure which craft I would do as the first night is always the most hectic. Then I sat at the registration table with Sandy and we registered the children and made their name tags as they came in. Joy, I thought of you, felt like I was 'living' your job briefly. Registration can be wild and hectic.

Our VBS Director is a pistol and we had to butt heads with her a few times. She thinks everything should be micro managed and everyone should do exactly as she predicts...workers and mothers of children coming. That ain't happening. Sandy and I took care of business in spite of her grumbling and anger and while she sat and fed her face we worked. Ugh. Anyway...on to what we did. After all children and teachers were fed and left for opening assembly, Sandy and I ate, I got ready for the first craft group.

We were making a gravity defying airplane...our these is Amazing Wonders Aviation...and the darn craft putty was old...I just bought it, but it wouldn't work to hold the pencil in place. We switched over to another means of holding the pencil upright..gluing it into a styrofoam cup...cup upside down, hole in middle of bottom and glue to hold the pencil steady. The kids liked the cup better. First glitch met and over come.

After the 3 different groups came and crafted, that brought us up to 8...we cleaned up our area, pulled out the craft for tonight and sat down for a few moments to rest before gathering up kiddos and heading home.

Ana is old enough to be a helper this year. She and a girl named Sara, the granddaughter of a member, are helping our go to fill in preacher, Tommy. He's a divorced man, my age and an awesome preacher and great with kids. They had a ball.

Stacie came and brought Shandi, but didn't even stay to eat. Something crawled up her ass after about 30 minutes and she huffed up and left. Oh well, so be it.


I want to work in the yard some, since I won't have to water.
 I pulled and removed a mountain of poison ivy Saturday and I feel swelled and am having breathing issues in spite of treatments. I'm wondering if the poison ivy has anything to do with that. I covered up with a long sleeve shirt, gloves, socks, etc, worked till it was removed, went inside, stripped down and jumped in the showered immediately to wash away any juice I may have gotten on my face. I am praying I don't suddenly break out with poison ivy bumps.

I may end up sitting on my bum and doing nothing.

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Character is what we are, not what others think we are.

VBS

Good morning world. Today begins VBS. It is raining finally, after being promised rain for 3 days. I am relieved since I didn't water the plantation yesterday. Instead, we worked in the yard some, went to Wal Mart, and otherwise got ready for VBS.

Plans are: breakfast, church, Nursing home ministry, then VBS.

Lord only knows.

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Character is what we are, not what others think we are.

Tada

And making it all neat and weed free.

Grapevine mess

Had a grape arbor here many yars ago. The vines made tart grapes, good for jelly and making raisens. Through the years other undesirable plants joined the grape. This week we have cleared it all away leaving one nice oak tree.

Rare

Got that man down on his knees

Cleaning tomatoes

Nothing like taking a weedy plant like this

okra

Never have had to gather okra squatted down and/or bent over standing on my head. The tallest plant is only about 12-15 inches tall and this is the 2nd frying we have gathered. Awesome it produces so young...but this is the first time we've planted plants. We usually plant seeds so that probably causes the plants to grow taller before producing.

hmm...

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Character is what we are, not what others think we are.