Shandi/grounding Ana/school

I've never felt so sorry for a child than I did Shandi this evening.
School papers from the past week came home today. Two of them were repeats from last week; the ones where she had written her story. The other half of the paper was finding the misspelled word. She made an F on both of them. She missed all the misspelled words and didn't even attempt to write a story. When I asked her she said she got behind and couldn't finish it.

She had one Reading Comprehension paper that she made an 86 on. When she saw it she says, "I didn't make a hundred?" "No" I said, "But look, you made an 86. That is great." "She tears up and says, "But I tried so hard to make a hundred. I want to make a hundred." I said,"But baby, 86 is so good in a subject you have problems in."

By now she's crying and so am I. She tells me again how hard she tries to make hundreds.

Then we come home and do the homework. Afterwards, we're going over the papers and I'm explaining to her her mistakes. She spotted the two papers with an F on them. Those weren't the only ones, but it's what she saw. Then she wants to know why she isn't grounded for making an F. "I'm supposed to be grounded for making F's. That is the rule."

Lord, I didn't know what to say, so I asked her, "Do you want to be grounded?"
She says she doesn't, but it's the rules.

I say, "Well, I suppose we could ground you if that's what you think you need."

All this time I'm thinking and praying, God, help me help her understand. I'm also about to cry.

So I ended up telling her that for right now she's in a class room filled with children who do not struggle nearly as hard as she does to make the grade. She is in there because the school hasn't gotten up off of it to give her the services she needs. Once she gets those services, THEN if she makes F's, or if she simply doesn't try her best, then we will ground her in a heartbeat. She seemed satisfied with that.

I thought about talking with her about her limitations, but I don't know how to go about doing that, and not say the wrong thing.

Do you have suggestions? Do you think I need to call and set them up an appointment so we can help her understand why she isn't grounded? Stacie and I simply can't see grounding her for something that she cannot help and she can't help not being able to grasp all the school work. After all, even with her adaptive skills, a 59 IQ limits a person's ability to comprehend certain concepts.

Also, Ana is having a hard time with the fact that Stacie is planning to return to school. We think she's subconsciously remembering that Garry molested her during Stacie's last session in school, but she doesn't tell us when we ask her why does she become so upset when Stacie mentions school. She only says it's because mom will always be gone.