slips

I used to do better in the past, also. I have pondered the reasons for this of late.
For me the answer has been a combination of things which all boil down to missing meetings. Health issues, work, changes in home life and other obligations interfered in my regular routine of meetings. Soon it became a habit to not attend. Add to that the fact that our meeting--the closest/only one available to me-had become stagnant and it was easy to say to self, "I don't get a thing out of the meeting. I will stay home and can the tomatoes, I will go eat out, buy groceries and skip the meeting and get to bed early, after all I am tired; I have gone for 20+ years, I know all I need to know" and the list of excuses goes on and on.

The truth is that the health issues and the changes in my home life were the very reasons I should have continued to attend as long as I could crawl into that room. Illness will change your thinking, just as quickly and easily as living with alcoholism; changes in home life will definitely change ones thinking especially as drastically as mine changed--we went from 5 living on the hill (not all under 1 roof) to 12 living on the hill (again, not all under one roof) but still close, close, close and some days there is a head count of 15.

If ever a person needs a meeting it is during times of change, regardless of what that change is.

It didn't take me long to see that I needed to start taking care of me again--not just physically, but emotionally, so back to regular attendance at meetings I went. At the same time the meetings began to change, newcomers came and stayed, it wasn't just us old timers there....so again, I am back to working a program of recovery, focusing on me and what I need to change, why I need to change and how I can change.

Slogans and Steps are fore front in my mind during times of stress and moments of temptation to control an issue--hahaha---plenty of those when you want to micro-manage that many people!!!!!!!!!!!!! And of course I want to at times.........:D

So, yes, I used to do better and today I am once again doing better; one step at a time, one day at a time.