When they don't take care of what they're supposed to take care of--what do many of them do? Run to mama or daddy.
Why? Because as Robby told Stacie one time--mom and dad will always take care of it for me.
And for many years we did. While he spent his money on alcohol and drugs, going out partying, new clothes, movies, etc--we paid fines so they wouldn't come arrest him. After all, he was working. We didn't want to screw that up. Still, he never used his money to pay his obligations.
Finally one day I had enough. I refused and continue to refuse to work my ass off to hand the money over to a person perfectly capable of working and managing his money. Period.
When I married, I cut all hopes of help from my folks. True, mom did let us stay with her a month when we moved back home from the coast, just until we found a place to live.
If I wanted a home, I had to work and earn the money to rent or buy it. If I wanted to take care of my son, I had to fork over the money. If I wanted a way to go places, I had to buy it, insure it and put gas in it. If I wanted health insurance, it was up to me.
When Terry and I both quit our jobs on the same day--each not knowing the other quit--we found something to do to earn enough to pay the necessities. We didn't have any extra for non essentials--but we made it until we both found regular jobs again.
Why was it ok for us to fend for ourselves and it isn't for our kids?
I know times are rough. I know our kids have a problem==addiction. But how often have we allowed them to figure a way out of the problem they have gotten themselves into?
I know there are times when help is necessary. My grandma helped me out a couple of times when she saw a need. But, she also saw that I was doing everything I could to make it and she knew the situation was basically beyond my control. That's when we should want to help, if and when we can financially.
I don't mean to be pointing the finger at anyone who has helped their child simply because anytime a finger is pointed at anyone, there are 3 more pointing back at me. I've done it all.
But I, so far, have stopped doing it for my son. The only way he gets any money from me is to work for it and I don't pay him above average wage either.
The only way I help Stacie, is one big ticket purchase at a time for which she simply doesn't have the funds for at one time...such as 4 new tires. Then she pays that back and there is no other help until that loan is paid is off. Anything else I do, is because I want to do it and I can afford to it.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
visitation update
We had our session with the counselor yesterday, and since she's in the office with the youth court judge, I had hoped to have a chance to speak with him.
As if on cue, he came in, even though he wasn't actually working yesterday, before Stacie and I went in to update Sylvia.
I briefly explained to him the important parts of the visitation problem--snake and boxer shorts. I reiterated that we both do desire the girls have a relationship with their dad, but it needs to be a safe relationship.
He checked the computer on the last known visitation order, but unfortunately it was signed before they began putting everything in the computer. He said we couldn't get a copy of it because it's youth court and all that is confidential.
He did say, however, that if the snake and boxer short problem continues for us to contact DHS and let our caseworker start an investigation.
*duh* I hadn't thought of that, since it was concerning brief visits not permanent custody.
The girls did go visit their dad. I don't recall if I posted about that. He finally came at 10:20 on Saturday to get them. The girls said when they got to his house, the boys were elsewhere and when Michelle came in from where ever she was and discovered they were there, she left and didn't return until 11 at night, at which time she slept in the other bedroom. The boys were not present at all.
Dad brought them home at 11 on Sunday morning. So we endured 3 days of aggravation for him to have a 24 hour visit. Neat, huh?
Sylvia took extensive notes concerning the visitation saga and I carried her a copy of the details I had typed up.
Stacie, Ana and Sylvia had a good session together, working on Ana's perception that her mom loves Shan more than Ana. Sylvia doesn't get to see Stacie often, due to her work schedule--so it was good that she had this time with her.
All in all, I left feeling much confident that the visitation will be worked out for the girls best interest. I also feel that maybe now, with the knowledge that she can take steps herself via DHS to insure the girls visits with their dad are safe...Stacie will feel less fearful about Roy's threats to take the girls away from her.
And the New Year marches on.
As if on cue, he came in, even though he wasn't actually working yesterday, before Stacie and I went in to update Sylvia.
I briefly explained to him the important parts of the visitation problem--snake and boxer shorts. I reiterated that we both do desire the girls have a relationship with their dad, but it needs to be a safe relationship.
He checked the computer on the last known visitation order, but unfortunately it was signed before they began putting everything in the computer. He said we couldn't get a copy of it because it's youth court and all that is confidential.
He did say, however, that if the snake and boxer short problem continues for us to contact DHS and let our caseworker start an investigation.
*duh* I hadn't thought of that, since it was concerning brief visits not permanent custody.
The girls did go visit their dad. I don't recall if I posted about that. He finally came at 10:20 on Saturday to get them. The girls said when they got to his house, the boys were elsewhere and when Michelle came in from where ever she was and discovered they were there, she left and didn't return until 11 at night, at which time she slept in the other bedroom. The boys were not present at all.
Dad brought them home at 11 on Sunday morning. So we endured 3 days of aggravation for him to have a 24 hour visit. Neat, huh?
Sylvia took extensive notes concerning the visitation saga and I carried her a copy of the details I had typed up.
Stacie, Ana and Sylvia had a good session together, working on Ana's perception that her mom loves Shan more than Ana. Sylvia doesn't get to see Stacie often, due to her work schedule--so it was good that she had this time with her.
All in all, I left feeling much confident that the visitation will be worked out for the girls best interest. I also feel that maybe now, with the knowledge that she can take steps herself via DHS to insure the girls visits with their dad are safe...Stacie will feel less fearful about Roy's threats to take the girls away from her.
And the New Year marches on.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Guard lizard
This afternoon around 2, Shan came into the nursery for a sandwich. As I made her a PB&J, she informed me that she WAS going to watch tv in my bed, since she couldn't get the TV in the living room to work right.
But, she goes on to tell me, I wanted some peanuts to eat while I watch tv....her papa keeps a can of roasted peanuts by the bed on his side table.
Well, hon, I asked her....you know you can have a peanut.
But....momo, then I saw the lizard on the can of peanuts. He was just laying there looking at me. So --she says, holding her hands up to her mouth and her eyes getting wider and wider--I just backed right out of there without a peanut or watching tv.
Oh ...so you found papa's guard lizard?
Papa's what? she asked.
Papa's guard lizard. It's there to guard his can of peanuts.
Well, he needs to get rid of it, momo. It scared me half to death.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Visitation
Sunday, December 28, 2008
I guess one of the most frustrating things concerning this visitation business is the fact that Roy acts as though having his kids is the most important thing to him, until he gets them.
From Wed. Dec. 24-Fri. Dec 26, he did nothing but aggravate the hell out of Stacie and so, by association myself concerning getting the girls for the weekend. When the agreement was finally made, he couldn’t come get them on Friday due to needing to pick up his step son. So he picks them up at 10:20 on Saturday.
He brings them home at 11:00 on Sunday. Just a hair over 24 hours he had them.
Seems as though his wife packed up her two boys and spent the night with a friend while the girls were there. Seems as though this was a bit more than Roy bargained for, as he told Ana he might have to bring them home on Sat. nite, but then changed his mind.
Now, 48 hours, give or take, of aggravation for 24 hours of visitation just doesn’t compute in by book.
I guess one of the most frustrating things concerning this visitation business is the fact that Roy acts as though having his kids is the most important thing to him, until he gets them.
From Wed. Dec. 24-Fri. Dec 26, he did nothing but aggravate the hell out of Stacie and so, by association myself concerning getting the girls for the weekend. When the agreement was finally made, he couldn’t come get them on Friday due to needing to pick up his step son. So he picks them up at 10:20 on Saturday.
He brings them home at 11:00 on Sunday. Just a hair over 24 hours he had them.
Seems as though his wife packed up her two boys and spent the night with a friend while the girls were there. Seems as though this was a bit more than Roy bargained for, as he told Ana he might have to bring them home on Sat. nite, but then changed his mind.
Now, 48 hours, give or take, of aggravation for 24 hours of visitation just doesn’t compute in by book.
Friday, December 26, 2008
visitation saga
Visitation Saga
I have spent the better part of the evening on the phone with Roy..the girl's father.
We got home from town around 2:30 and by 4:00 he was texting about getting them. Finally he called and insisted on talking with Ana, who was begging to not have to talk with him; but Stacie handed her the phone anyway.
He asked her why she didn't want to come. She told him it was the snake. Then he said some more stuff, and she started crying. She kept repeating that the snake scared her when Johnny took it out of the cage and tried to put it on her. I couldn't hear all the conversation from his end, of course, but he gave her until 6 this evening to decide if she would come for the weekend or not.
Then he gets on the phone with Stacie and starts accusing her of bringing up all these excuses for the girls to not go. She calmly told him it wasn't her; she wanted them to spend time with him. It was the girls themselves who didn't enjoy going because of the snake and various other things that went on down there.
Finally, Roy got to yelling so Stacie hung up.
In the meantime Ana and Shandi tell us that daddy and the boys walk around in their boxer shorts all the time, with no pants on over them.
Then the phone rings again and I answer it. He wants to ask my opinion, tells me he's tried talking nicely to Stacie but she keeps hanging up. I reminded him of the message on the answering machine filled with the f word. He claimed she made him so mad he lost his temper.
I asked him about the boxer shorts, and asked if he didn't think it would be more appropriate to cover themselves in the presence of young girls. He said they had always done that, in fact, his wife only wore a panties and a t-shirt in the house. I said it's fine for ya'll, if that's what you want to do, but men should be decent in front of girls.
We talked about the snake, the bugs, the cussing...everything. He kept saying it was Stacie who was pulling these excuses out of the air, and I refuted that each time. He promised me that Johnny would not tease the girls with the snake and they would put clothes on over their boxers if the girls would agree to come. I said I'd talk to them.
So, off the phone and I talk with the girls who agree to go for the weekend. So I call him back to let him, he says well, he can't come get them tonight, he has to pick up Johnny and it would be too late. He will call in the morning and let me know when he will come get them.
Ok....so for 3 days we've been harrassed over this issue and now you are stalling? Gee Roy, I thought you were on your way up here prepared to snatch them and run like hell.
30 minutes later he calls back. stacie answers and I hear her saying.....roy, it's the girls who complain, not me. Then she says, No Roy, you come get them and bring them back Sunday evening. I can't come get them, I have to work. Then he starts yelling about he can't make all those trips up here...a whole distance of maybe 60 miles round trip..so Stacie hangs up.
Another 15 minutes pass and the phone rings again. I answer it. He starts all over again, wanting everyone to be happy, talking about the snake, the boxers, etc. I tell him that we've discussed all this, we cannot solve it until the girls spend the weekend and it is proven to them that they won't be teased by the snake.
Then he tells me that his wife wants to pack up and take her boys away for the weekend so they won't be accused of things while the girls are there. Ok Roy....so what do you want me to do about this? What is the purpose of that? Are you trying to make us feel guilty? It ain't happening. You and Michelle do whatever you feel is right for you. I just don't want the girls harassed with a snake and I'd prefer you cover your undies in their presence.
Finally, he shut up and got off the phone. The girls and Stacie have gone home and I pray that phone doesn't ring again. If it's him, I refuse to answer it.
I did tell him that maybe going to court was the best thing he could do, because then both sides could have their say in front of a judge and the judge could speak to both parties and maybe they would listen.
Anywho--I'm sick and tired of drama tonight. This isn't my idea of Christmas holidays.
ON the up side, the girls had a ball shopping today....they have bling bling of all sorts--sparkly earrings, dangling necklaces, pooches in purses, a diva dog, new clothes to go with the new ones I got them for Christmas. They are happy campers in that department.
I have spent the better part of the evening on the phone with Roy..the girl's father.
We got home from town around 2:30 and by 4:00 he was texting about getting them. Finally he called and insisted on talking with Ana, who was begging to not have to talk with him; but Stacie handed her the phone anyway.
He asked her why she didn't want to come. She told him it was the snake. Then he said some more stuff, and she started crying. She kept repeating that the snake scared her when Johnny took it out of the cage and tried to put it on her. I couldn't hear all the conversation from his end, of course, but he gave her until 6 this evening to decide if she would come for the weekend or not.
Then he gets on the phone with Stacie and starts accusing her of bringing up all these excuses for the girls to not go. She calmly told him it wasn't her; she wanted them to spend time with him. It was the girls themselves who didn't enjoy going because of the snake and various other things that went on down there.
Finally, Roy got to yelling so Stacie hung up.
In the meantime Ana and Shandi tell us that daddy and the boys walk around in their boxer shorts all the time, with no pants on over them.
Then the phone rings again and I answer it. He wants to ask my opinion, tells me he's tried talking nicely to Stacie but she keeps hanging up. I reminded him of the message on the answering machine filled with the f word. He claimed she made him so mad he lost his temper.
I asked him about the boxer shorts, and asked if he didn't think it would be more appropriate to cover themselves in the presence of young girls. He said they had always done that, in fact, his wife only wore a panties and a t-shirt in the house. I said it's fine for ya'll, if that's what you want to do, but men should be decent in front of girls.
We talked about the snake, the bugs, the cussing...everything. He kept saying it was Stacie who was pulling these excuses out of the air, and I refuted that each time. He promised me that Johnny would not tease the girls with the snake and they would put clothes on over their boxers if the girls would agree to come. I said I'd talk to them.
So, off the phone and I talk with the girls who agree to go for the weekend. So I call him back to let him, he says well, he can't come get them tonight, he has to pick up Johnny and it would be too late. He will call in the morning and let me know when he will come get them.
Ok....so for 3 days we've been harrassed over this issue and now you are stalling? Gee Roy, I thought you were on your way up here prepared to snatch them and run like hell.
30 minutes later he calls back. stacie answers and I hear her saying.....roy, it's the girls who complain, not me. Then she says, No Roy, you come get them and bring them back Sunday evening. I can't come get them, I have to work. Then he starts yelling about he can't make all those trips up here...a whole distance of maybe 60 miles round trip..so Stacie hangs up.
Another 15 minutes pass and the phone rings again. I answer it. He starts all over again, wanting everyone to be happy, talking about the snake, the boxers, etc. I tell him that we've discussed all this, we cannot solve it until the girls spend the weekend and it is proven to them that they won't be teased by the snake.
Then he tells me that his wife wants to pack up and take her boys away for the weekend so they won't be accused of things while the girls are there. Ok Roy....so what do you want me to do about this? What is the purpose of that? Are you trying to make us feel guilty? It ain't happening. You and Michelle do whatever you feel is right for you. I just don't want the girls harassed with a snake and I'd prefer you cover your undies in their presence.
Finally, he shut up and got off the phone. The girls and Stacie have gone home and I pray that phone doesn't ring again. If it's him, I refuse to answer it.
I did tell him that maybe going to court was the best thing he could do, because then both sides could have their say in front of a judge and the judge could speak to both parties and maybe they would listen.
Anywho--I'm sick and tired of drama tonight. This isn't my idea of Christmas holidays.
ON the up side, the girls had a ball shopping today....they have bling bling of all sorts--sparkly earrings, dangling necklaces, pooches in purses, a diva dog, new clothes to go with the new ones I got them for Christmas. They are happy campers in that department.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
A letter to the girl's counselor
Dear Sylvia,
The girl's dad, Roy, texted Stacie yesterday and demanded that the girls come spend the the night with him when he gets home from work--otherwise he would take her back to court. He then called the house phone and left 2 messages....both of which she plans to record once we get a tape recorder that works...which we will do tomorrow.
One message says that he won't pay 700.00 child support and not have his kids on the weekend. The other one uses the 'f' word a lot. The girls haven't spent the night with him in several months. He has only asked for them 1 weekend back in September, which Stacie told him they already had plans. Ana had a birthday party to attend...hers...which we had already made plans for prior to her dad calling.
Both girls say they don't want to spend the night with dad because of the python his step sons have, because they only eat fast food and cereal, and dad and his wife are seldom around. They are either shut up in the bedroom or off shopping or visiting friends and the girls are left with the two boys, ages 14 and 8 or 10, I don't remember; and an elderly grandma who stays in the bed and argues with daddy constantly when she gets does up.
The divorce papers state day visitation, no overnights. Later on, during all the youth court appearances we made when I would have temp custody of them, there was a new ruling stating that Roy had to have supervised visitation with them because at the time he was not married, and he didn't have a stable home for them to visit in. These visits were to be held at the greenhouses in mine and Terry's presence. I know they are back in Stacie's custody, so don't have a clue if that ruling is still binding--it came from DHS/Children's division.
What I need to know and figure that hopefully you could ask Conrad (lawyer and youth court judge) or arrange for me and/or Stacie to speak with him concerning our legal rights concerning all this before I spout off something to dear dad and am wrong.
As I said earlier, both girls don't want to spend the night with dad. They love their dad, but I know Ana is scared of him because she has told me so.
What upsets Stacie and the girls is to come home and Stacie turn on the answering machine and hear all these threats filled with curse words from their dad to their mom. He pulls this every so often and has even pulled it on me at which time I told him to go ahead and make my day. I'd love nothing better than to face off with him in a courtroom with a judge. But Stacie has deep seated fears that some way, some how, Roy will manage to take the girls from her, either by some fluke or because her house isn't spic and span clean.
I worry, because the girls are doing well, they don't need all this upset in their life, so I just need to know what legal options we have. I really hate to bother you with this right here at Christmas.
Also, while I'm writing, we need to seriously take a close look at Shandi. I don't know if the child is depressed, or if her kidney situation is truly causing her to feel unwell. After doing the VGUG and renal test, the doc found an abnormality and is referring her to the specialist in Jackson. We haven't heard from them to set up an appointment yet. She often has crying spells, and always, almost daily by evening complains of simply feeling bad. As I was telling you at our last session, even Dr. Charles noted that Shandi was not like herself on our last visit to him.
We do have a letter from the school informing us they are observing Shandi in Tier 11 as a child in danger of failing and if necessary will move her to Tier 111 (yet again) and write her up an IEP. I'll bring a copy of that when we come for our session on the 2nd.
The girl's dad, Roy, texted Stacie yesterday and demanded that the girls come spend the the night with him when he gets home from work--otherwise he would take her back to court. He then called the house phone and left 2 messages....both of which she plans to record once we get a tape recorder that works...which we will do tomorrow.
One message says that he won't pay 700.00 child support and not have his kids on the weekend. The other one uses the 'f' word a lot. The girls haven't spent the night with him in several months. He has only asked for them 1 weekend back in September, which Stacie told him they already had plans. Ana had a birthday party to attend...hers...which we had already made plans for prior to her dad calling.
Both girls say they don't want to spend the night with dad because of the python his step sons have, because they only eat fast food and cereal, and dad and his wife are seldom around. They are either shut up in the bedroom or off shopping or visiting friends and the girls are left with the two boys, ages 14 and 8 or 10, I don't remember; and an elderly grandma who stays in the bed and argues with daddy constantly when she gets does up.
The divorce papers state day visitation, no overnights. Later on, during all the youth court appearances we made when I would have temp custody of them, there was a new ruling stating that Roy had to have supervised visitation with them because at the time he was not married, and he didn't have a stable home for them to visit in. These visits were to be held at the greenhouses in mine and Terry's presence. I know they are back in Stacie's custody, so don't have a clue if that ruling is still binding--it came from DHS/Children's division.
What I need to know and figure that hopefully you could ask Conrad (lawyer and youth court judge) or arrange for me and/or Stacie to speak with him concerning our legal rights concerning all this before I spout off something to dear dad and am wrong.
As I said earlier, both girls don't want to spend the night with dad. They love their dad, but I know Ana is scared of him because she has told me so.
What upsets Stacie and the girls is to come home and Stacie turn on the answering machine and hear all these threats filled with curse words from their dad to their mom. He pulls this every so often and has even pulled it on me at which time I told him to go ahead and make my day. I'd love nothing better than to face off with him in a courtroom with a judge. But Stacie has deep seated fears that some way, some how, Roy will manage to take the girls from her, either by some fluke or because her house isn't spic and span clean.
I worry, because the girls are doing well, they don't need all this upset in their life, so I just need to know what legal options we have. I really hate to bother you with this right here at Christmas.
Also, while I'm writing, we need to seriously take a close look at Shandi. I don't know if the child is depressed, or if her kidney situation is truly causing her to feel unwell. After doing the VGUG and renal test, the doc found an abnormality and is referring her to the specialist in Jackson. We haven't heard from them to set up an appointment yet. She often has crying spells, and always, almost daily by evening complains of simply feeling bad. As I was telling you at our last session, even Dr. Charles noted that Shandi was not like herself on our last visit to him.
We do have a letter from the school informing us they are observing Shandi in Tier 11 as a child in danger of failing and if necessary will move her to Tier 111 (yet again) and write her up an IEP. I'll bring a copy of that when we come for our session on the 2nd.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Chrstmas memories
A cold, cold day--one in which you just don't want to brave the elements considering the work we do. We made it to the nursery by 9, where I took care of a bank deposit and some phone calls while Terry gathered and burned some boxes and other trash.
Then the girls and I headed to town to make the deposit. I had been given 10.00 by one of my Sunday School members as a gift, and I planned to give it to the girls so they could buy a few little trinkets for their mom and popo. I'm trying to teach them that it isn't the dollar amount of the gift, but the thought that counts.
So, after dropping the deposit off, we head to the first of 3 Dollar Stores in town. The girls found a birthday glass bear with a birthstone in for their mom and a votive candle cup with a cross on it. I talked them into getting popo a pack of socks as he can always use those. Of course Ana found me a beautiful faux porcelean (how do you spell that?) egg which opens up to hold trinkets.
Then Ana found a set of pocket pups...little tiny dogs with a dog house. Shandi wanted one but there wasn't another one to be found. So we head off to the 2nd dollar store.....but still no pocket pups to be found. However, Shan found a Barbie doll she wanted, which was more than the pups cost for her sis, but these girls don't count the dollar amount--they count how BAD do you want it, which is truly the right way of looking at things. So here we go with Shandi hugging the Barbie doll, to look at pillows. Terry desperately needed a new second pillow and so did Shandi. I found 2 satin covered ones, just the size and fluffliness they like for 5.00, so grabbed them. Then Ana spotted a long, velvety pillow that she wanted last year at Christmas; had asked her dad to get it for her, but he didn't. So I got that.
As we leave heading home, Ana says: Oh wow, finally, I got just exactly what I wanted, even though it took a whole year. In fact I got two things I really, really wanted....the pillow and the pocket pets.
Shandi says: So did I. I love this Barbie doll.
How simple does it get?
So this brings up the topic of getting what we want. I share with them just how much I would love to be able to buy them Wii's, DS Nintendo's, digi camera's, etc, etc; and the fact that we don't has nothing to do with our love for them, but the amount of dollars to spare we have.
They both say they know this.
Then I ask them....what would you rather have? I family that loves you, treats you well, does what's right by you and fewer expensive toys
or
a family that is always busy working, stressed out over bills, yelling and fussing but who buys you whatever you want just to get you to be happy.
They both say--The family that loves us and treats us right....cause that's what we have.
We talk about how having the newest latest device doesn't make us loveable people, doesn't make us less than or better than.
Later today, I called the bike place to order the sprocket for Shandi's bike given I had ran over it last week. There are no bikes shops close by, so I called the manufacturer of the bike. When I placed my order the guy asked when I bought it, and I told him. Then he asked what happened and I told him I drove over it with the truck. He said he'd send this one out, but try to be more careful next time. I told him that I intended to pay for them, but he said...no, it's ok. So her bike will be fixed free of charge. Thank you Lord.
Next we're sitting here in the warm house, just being lazy, I'm helping the girls put their clean sheets on the bed when Terry says he has to go to the nursery. He comes back shortly with a dozen red roses and a gift bag with a bear, chocolates and such, topped off with a balloon for Stacie. Whooo Hoooo!!!!!!! Won't this just make her day and cause her to step a bit lighter????
Another thing I'm so moved by today is that it has occurred to me that when we go to town, even at Christmas--the girls do not beg, plead, bug, worry or otherwise harrass me to buy everything they see they like. In fact, they don't do much of that at all. We look, they may say....oh, I like this. This is pretty, or wow--but it seems as though they have less wants than some kids their age.
Is this because they are happy, secure children, who are being taught that 'things' aren't the source of happiness? Is it simple training since I've never bought them something every time we went in a store?
How can one woman be so tremendously blessed? My life is so full of wonderful blessings.
Then the girls and I headed to town to make the deposit. I had been given 10.00 by one of my Sunday School members as a gift, and I planned to give it to the girls so they could buy a few little trinkets for their mom and popo. I'm trying to teach them that it isn't the dollar amount of the gift, but the thought that counts.
So, after dropping the deposit off, we head to the first of 3 Dollar Stores in town. The girls found a birthday glass bear with a birthstone in for their mom and a votive candle cup with a cross on it. I talked them into getting popo a pack of socks as he can always use those. Of course Ana found me a beautiful faux porcelean (how do you spell that?) egg which opens up to hold trinkets.
Then Ana found a set of pocket pups...little tiny dogs with a dog house. Shandi wanted one but there wasn't another one to be found. So we head off to the 2nd dollar store.....but still no pocket pups to be found. However, Shan found a Barbie doll she wanted, which was more than the pups cost for her sis, but these girls don't count the dollar amount--they count how BAD do you want it, which is truly the right way of looking at things. So here we go with Shandi hugging the Barbie doll, to look at pillows. Terry desperately needed a new second pillow and so did Shandi. I found 2 satin covered ones, just the size and fluffliness they like for 5.00, so grabbed them. Then Ana spotted a long, velvety pillow that she wanted last year at Christmas; had asked her dad to get it for her, but he didn't. So I got that.
As we leave heading home, Ana says: Oh wow, finally, I got just exactly what I wanted, even though it took a whole year. In fact I got two things I really, really wanted....the pillow and the pocket pets.
Shandi says: So did I. I love this Barbie doll.
How simple does it get?
So this brings up the topic of getting what we want. I share with them just how much I would love to be able to buy them Wii's, DS Nintendo's, digi camera's, etc, etc; and the fact that we don't has nothing to do with our love for them, but the amount of dollars to spare we have.
They both say they know this.
Then I ask them....what would you rather have? I family that loves you, treats you well, does what's right by you and fewer expensive toys
or
a family that is always busy working, stressed out over bills, yelling and fussing but who buys you whatever you want just to get you to be happy.
They both say--The family that loves us and treats us right....cause that's what we have.
We talk about how having the newest latest device doesn't make us loveable people, doesn't make us less than or better than.
Later today, I called the bike place to order the sprocket for Shandi's bike given I had ran over it last week. There are no bikes shops close by, so I called the manufacturer of the bike. When I placed my order the guy asked when I bought it, and I told him. Then he asked what happened and I told him I drove over it with the truck. He said he'd send this one out, but try to be more careful next time. I told him that I intended to pay for them, but he said...no, it's ok. So her bike will be fixed free of charge. Thank you Lord.
Next we're sitting here in the warm house, just being lazy, I'm helping the girls put their clean sheets on the bed when Terry says he has to go to the nursery. He comes back shortly with a dozen red roses and a gift bag with a bear, chocolates and such, topped off with a balloon for Stacie. Whooo Hoooo!!!!!!! Won't this just make her day and cause her to step a bit lighter????
Another thing I'm so moved by today is that it has occurred to me that when we go to town, even at Christmas--the girls do not beg, plead, bug, worry or otherwise harrass me to buy everything they see they like. In fact, they don't do much of that at all. We look, they may say....oh, I like this. This is pretty, or wow--but it seems as though they have less wants than some kids their age.
Is this because they are happy, secure children, who are being taught that 'things' aren't the source of happiness? Is it simple training since I've never bought them something every time we went in a store?
How can one woman be so tremendously blessed? My life is so full of wonderful blessings.
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